Well, it's been a while. But when you read the next post, you'll know why. At this time of year, everyone starts ranking Top 10 movies, records, people, events of the year. Well, here are my Top 10 days of 2005. You'll notice most of them involve heavy drinking, which is no coincidence.
So here goes, my top 10 days of 2005 (in chronological order)
1. January 2 -- I originally was gonna list Jan 1 - the day I had a neighborhood NYD party at my house, but the next day - when me, my dad and my brother went to a sports bar to watch some NFL action - tops it. Since I work Sundays, I rarerly get to watch entire football games, and I hardly ever watch them with my dad and brother. So it was nice to get out and do it. Plus the Rams beat the Jets that day to back into the playoffs. Not a bad start to the year.
2. March 19 - My friend Steve had a sizeable St. Patty's day party at his house, and I have to say, it's a great day. My kids get to run around unsupervised, my wife can chat with other dames and I can get loaded, play golf and watch the Big Dance in relative peace. Best thing about this party, is he provided plenty of high-class tastes (Harp, Guiness). It's a good day.
3. April 20. I can't remember the exact date, but it was around this time the Allen Oldies Band rolled into Hoboken, NJ. I'm sure you've never heard of this act, but it was the greatest live show I've even seen (including Springsteen). These dudes played for 5 hours with no breaks. They drank Rheingold, rubbed peanut butter in their hair and played great oldies all night.
4. July 9 - Not many men would list the date of child's birthday party as a top 10 day, but this one was. The dude across the street from me has a nice inground pool and it was his son's 5th birthday. Me, the Mrs. and the kids walked across the street around noon and I stumbled back across the street sometime around 1 a.m. In between was some fun with the kids, a pretty good magician, a huge storm that chased away all of the non-entities and plenty of 12 oz. cocktails. I did swear - since I was having my 5-year-old daughter bringing me beers out of the cooler - the next day I would quit drinking. The boycott actually lasted until ...
5. July 26 - If I had to rank them 1-10, this would be in the top 3. Every year, me, my neighbor and another friend drive up to North Jersey for an all-day wiffle ball tourney. Basically, my friend's cousin has built a wiffle field of dreams in his backyard. So it's hours of drinking, wiffle and good eating. It's a tremendous time.
6. August 16 -- Me and the family went to L.A. for a week to visit my brother, who writes for the Simpons. We visited him a work one day and got to see the cast do a table read - which is where the sit around a table and read the script for the first time. We also got to meet Joe Montegna, who was there doing a guest spot. I also saw the dude who played Howard Stern's father in Private Parts walking around the parking lot.
7. Sept 5 - Labor Day in South Plainfield NJ is a huge day. There's a parade, fireworks, the whole nine yards. Well anyway, it was kind of a repeat of July 9 without hte magician. It ended with me drinking beer and talking to a nun watching fireworks in the Church Parking lot.
8. Sept 17 - Any dad dreams of the day he will coach is son or daughter in youth sports. Well, Sept 17 was my coaching debut of my daughter's soccer team. We lost, but I didn't care.
9. Oct 1 - Took my daughter to her first Mets game. Enough said.
10. Nov. 5 - My friend who has the St. Patty's Day, also has season tickets to Penn State. Well, every year I usually go to one game with him and this year was no exception. The day involves a huge tailgate with plenty of great food (yet too many high-class tastes), a great game (PSU beat Wisconsin) and - surprise, surprise, plenty of drinking. The night usually wraps up in the Shandygaffe - a dive bar on the great campus of Penn State. The next day is always usually a tough one, but it's also a top 3 day.
PREDICTIONS FOR 2006
1. Jan 12 - I think I'm gonna get a ticket to Mark Messier night at the Garden.
2. March 4 - I think I'm gonna get a ticket to Carolina at Duke hoops. St. Pat's Day guy might be in, too.
3. Sept 9 - Penn State at Notre Dame.
4. Wiffle ball day
5. Valentine's Day (HEY NOW)
Ok, that's it. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you and yours.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
BLOW IT UP REAL GOOD
Perhaps the greatest thing about owning a home is - in my opinion - getting to decorate it during the holidays.
I mean, think about it, in this day in age, if you want to paint a rock in your front yard, you have to get a permit from your town, but when it comes to Christmas decorations, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want.
That being said, too many liberties have been taken in this department, the biggest culprit is this new wave of inflatable decorations.
I have to say, a few years ago, they were cute. You had a Rudolph one, a Santa one, a Homer Simpson. That was fine. Now you have snow globes that acutally snow. I'm waiting to see the inflatable Baby Jesus on someone's lawn soon.
I myself, hate the inflatables for two reasons.
1. They look like sh-t when not inflated. Listen, I have enough ugly looking mounds of crap on my front yard without me having to pay $49.99 to put another one out there.
2. This new wave of inflatables have, for some reason, made the classic light up plastic decorations obsolete. I mean, go into any store these days and try to find a plastic snowman, or santa, or wooden soldier. They are nowhere to be found. What the f-ck is that? I mean, the white-trash looking icicles are bad enough. But no more plastic snowman. Unf-ckingreal.
So, if you are driving around central jersey, and see a house with no icicles, no inflatable crap and 4 - count em - 4 plastic snowmen on the yard. That's my hut.
The only inflatable I'll be investing is something to keep me company on a cold winter night. (HEY NOW). Or this one.
By the way, Jerseygirl. Check this one out.
I mean, think about it, in this day in age, if you want to paint a rock in your front yard, you have to get a permit from your town, but when it comes to Christmas decorations, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want.
That being said, too many liberties have been taken in this department, the biggest culprit is this new wave of inflatable decorations.
I have to say, a few years ago, they were cute. You had a Rudolph one, a Santa one, a Homer Simpson. That was fine. Now you have snow globes that acutally snow. I'm waiting to see the inflatable Baby Jesus on someone's lawn soon.
I myself, hate the inflatables for two reasons.
1. They look like sh-t when not inflated. Listen, I have enough ugly looking mounds of crap on my front yard without me having to pay $49.99 to put another one out there.
2. This new wave of inflatables have, for some reason, made the classic light up plastic decorations obsolete. I mean, go into any store these days and try to find a plastic snowman, or santa, or wooden soldier. They are nowhere to be found. What the f-ck is that? I mean, the white-trash looking icicles are bad enough. But no more plastic snowman. Unf-ckingreal.
So, if you are driving around central jersey, and see a house with no icicles, no inflatable crap and 4 - count em - 4 plastic snowmen on the yard. That's my hut.
The only inflatable I'll be investing is something to keep me company on a cold winter night. (HEY NOW). Or this one.
By the way, Jerseygirl. Check this one out.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
FOOTING THE BILL
Yesterday afternoon is was having a few drinks with a neighbor - in preparation for my wife's 20th HS reunion - and I nearly killed myself falling down the stairs. While I survived the fall, my left foot took quite a beating.
I think I sprained it or something. It's possible I broke a little bone in there, but we'll see.
Anway, while raking leaves today in serious pain, it dawned on me how underrated the foot is.
Seriously. Think about it. Without the foot, or feet we'd have
- No football
- No shoes
- No running
- No walking
- No playing footsies
- No dancing
- No ice skating (hence, no hockey)
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
So next time - especially this time of the year where we're giving thanks for stuff - give thanks for two healthy feet.
I think I sprained it or something. It's possible I broke a little bone in there, but we'll see.
Anway, while raking leaves today in serious pain, it dawned on me how underrated the foot is.
Seriously. Think about it. Without the foot, or feet we'd have
- No football
- No shoes
- No running
- No walking
- No playing footsies
- No dancing
- No ice skating (hence, no hockey)
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
So next time - especially this time of the year where we're giving thanks for stuff - give thanks for two healthy feet.
Friday, November 18, 2005
THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW
With the holidays right around the corner, it's time to give a viewers guide for most of the holiday specials you'll be asked by the major networks and cable outfits the watch this time of the year. With so many to choose from, I'll help you clear it up the best I can. So here goes
ONES TO WATCH
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER: Unquestionably the greatest TV holiday special of all time. Not only is it funny, it also shows a side of Santa we don't see in any other show - his A-hole side. Throughout this entire show Santa is a huge douche. Two seconds after Rudy is born, the cat's ripping him for the red nose. When Rudy is embarrassed at takeoff practice, Santa is there to not only blast him, but also his old man for letting it happen. And when Rudy's parents and Clarice are missing Santa tells Rudolph he's worried about them because he needs Donner to pull his sleigh. This shows was a selfish dude St. Nick really is. Even at the end, he's only nice to Rudolph because he needs him. Also, how is it possible Santa doesn't know about the Island of Misfit Toys. He knows if some 6-year-old in Indonesia is nice or naughty, but doesn't know about this land of free toys just minutes from his house.
The show is also fun to watch to try and spot the gay undertones between Yukon and Hermie.
Another fun way to watch it is take a swig of beer everytime they say Santa. Yule be bombed before 8:30.
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS: No, not the lame Jim Carrey flick. I'm talking about the original that's narrated by Boris Karloff. It's a tremendous show, and very funny. It also - if you think about it - pretty much reveals there is no Santa, because if there was, he'd be there to stop the grinch. The songs are great, animation is great. It's a can't miss.
THE SIMPSONS (TIS THE 15th SEASON). The X-mas episode where Homer finds Santa's Little Helper gets most of the X-mas pub, but this episode, which aired in 2003, is much better. It's an ode to every other Christmas special and it's friggin hilarious. The California Raisins doing their own nativity scene is worth the price of admission right there.
MR. MAGOO'S A CHRISTMAS CAROL: The last can't miss on the list. Awesome translations of Dickens' work. Magoo is up to his visually-challenged schtick and the songs are tremendous. Just ask yourself this question, how many other shows have someone singing about Razelberry dressing?
THE YULE LOG: It's now on MSG and you have to admit watching a log burn on TV for 12 hours is much more interesting than a Knicks game. It wouldn't be Christmas without this show.
HOME ALONE: I know I'll get ripped for this, but you just don't see any more movies where a little kick lights up Joe Pesci with a blowtorch. It's my holiday guilty pleasure.
ONES YOU SHOULD SEE
OK, these next few you can take em or leave em.
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Great flick, I admit, and the fact that NBC only shows it once a year is a nice move. But, really, it's kind of like an NBA tilt, just turn it on for the last 20 minutes and your good. The second Clarence arrives it when it gets going. It is worth tuning in early on to see Alfalfa from the Little Rascals open up the pool, but then you can tune it out until the last segment.
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS: Outraged that it's not on the must-see list? Well, let me ask you this. How many years have you seen that CB is coming on, you get all pumped up for it and then 6 minutes in you're reaching for the remote? It has it's moments, but really, it's quite boring. I'm the only one with guts enough to say it. So there you go.
YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS: Like It's a Wonderful Life, all you have to watch is the 10-minute span with the Heat and Snow Misers. Besides that, the show is quite, quite lame.
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN: What amazes me is the folks who own the rights to this show took so long to start cashing in. I mean, Rudolph stuff has been available for years, and only know do you see stuff from this show - like the BurgerMeisterMeisterBurger dolls - in Toys R Us and stuff. Still, it's a pretty good show (Put one Foot in Front of the Other) is worth the hour you invest in it. But a must-see every year? No way.
A CHRISTMAS STORY: The 24-hour TBS marathon every year is a bit much. But it's either that or Lakers-Heat on ABC. Again, it's a good movie, but it's one where you can tune it in for about 3 minutes, get a laugh or two and move on.
ONES YOU CAN AND SHOULD SKIP
THE POLAR EXPRESS: I saw this in the movies with my kid last year and I have to say it scared the hell out of her. It's really freaky, especially when it shows some homeless dude who lives on top of the train. The animation itself is very freaky. Avoid it all costs.
FROSTY THE SNOW MAN: There, I said it. This show sucks. And besides, the magician is right. They stole his hat, he should have it back. F--- Frosty.
NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION: Randy Quaid in the little dickey is funny, but this flick get more tired each year.
RUDOLPH'S SHINY NEW YEAR: Can you say, piece of sh-t.?
Now, I know there are much, much more, and I'm sure I forgot about a bunch, like George Goebel's Classic "The Night B4 Christmas" with the mouse living in the clock. BUt these are the ones I really only care about.
Merry Christmas everyone.
You might want to check out this link to some real bombs
http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/xmasspecials/xmasspecials.asp
ONES TO WATCH
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER: Unquestionably the greatest TV holiday special of all time. Not only is it funny, it also shows a side of Santa we don't see in any other show - his A-hole side. Throughout this entire show Santa is a huge douche. Two seconds after Rudy is born, the cat's ripping him for the red nose. When Rudy is embarrassed at takeoff practice, Santa is there to not only blast him, but also his old man for letting it happen. And when Rudy's parents and Clarice are missing Santa tells Rudolph he's worried about them because he needs Donner to pull his sleigh. This shows was a selfish dude St. Nick really is. Even at the end, he's only nice to Rudolph because he needs him. Also, how is it possible Santa doesn't know about the Island of Misfit Toys. He knows if some 6-year-old in Indonesia is nice or naughty, but doesn't know about this land of free toys just minutes from his house.
The show is also fun to watch to try and spot the gay undertones between Yukon and Hermie.
Another fun way to watch it is take a swig of beer everytime they say Santa. Yule be bombed before 8:30.
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS: No, not the lame Jim Carrey flick. I'm talking about the original that's narrated by Boris Karloff. It's a tremendous show, and very funny. It also - if you think about it - pretty much reveals there is no Santa, because if there was, he'd be there to stop the grinch. The songs are great, animation is great. It's a can't miss.
THE SIMPSONS (TIS THE 15th SEASON). The X-mas episode where Homer finds Santa's Little Helper gets most of the X-mas pub, but this episode, which aired in 2003, is much better. It's an ode to every other Christmas special and it's friggin hilarious. The California Raisins doing their own nativity scene is worth the price of admission right there.
MR. MAGOO'S A CHRISTMAS CAROL: The last can't miss on the list. Awesome translations of Dickens' work. Magoo is up to his visually-challenged schtick and the songs are tremendous. Just ask yourself this question, how many other shows have someone singing about Razelberry dressing?
THE YULE LOG: It's now on MSG and you have to admit watching a log burn on TV for 12 hours is much more interesting than a Knicks game. It wouldn't be Christmas without this show.
HOME ALONE: I know I'll get ripped for this, but you just don't see any more movies where a little kick lights up Joe Pesci with a blowtorch. It's my holiday guilty pleasure.
ONES YOU SHOULD SEE
OK, these next few you can take em or leave em.
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Great flick, I admit, and the fact that NBC only shows it once a year is a nice move. But, really, it's kind of like an NBA tilt, just turn it on for the last 20 minutes and your good. The second Clarence arrives it when it gets going. It is worth tuning in early on to see Alfalfa from the Little Rascals open up the pool, but then you can tune it out until the last segment.
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS: Outraged that it's not on the must-see list? Well, let me ask you this. How many years have you seen that CB is coming on, you get all pumped up for it and then 6 minutes in you're reaching for the remote? It has it's moments, but really, it's quite boring. I'm the only one with guts enough to say it. So there you go.
YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS: Like It's a Wonderful Life, all you have to watch is the 10-minute span with the Heat and Snow Misers. Besides that, the show is quite, quite lame.
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN: What amazes me is the folks who own the rights to this show took so long to start cashing in. I mean, Rudolph stuff has been available for years, and only know do you see stuff from this show - like the BurgerMeisterMeisterBurger dolls - in Toys R Us and stuff. Still, it's a pretty good show (Put one Foot in Front of the Other) is worth the hour you invest in it. But a must-see every year? No way.
A CHRISTMAS STORY: The 24-hour TBS marathon every year is a bit much. But it's either that or Lakers-Heat on ABC. Again, it's a good movie, but it's one where you can tune it in for about 3 minutes, get a laugh or two and move on.
ONES YOU CAN AND SHOULD SKIP
THE POLAR EXPRESS: I saw this in the movies with my kid last year and I have to say it scared the hell out of her. It's really freaky, especially when it shows some homeless dude who lives on top of the train. The animation itself is very freaky. Avoid it all costs.
FROSTY THE SNOW MAN: There, I said it. This show sucks. And besides, the magician is right. They stole his hat, he should have it back. F--- Frosty.
NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION: Randy Quaid in the little dickey is funny, but this flick get more tired each year.
RUDOLPH'S SHINY NEW YEAR: Can you say, piece of sh-t.?
Now, I know there are much, much more, and I'm sure I forgot about a bunch, like George Goebel's Classic "The Night B4 Christmas" with the mouse living in the clock. BUt these are the ones I really only care about.
Merry Christmas everyone.
You might want to check out this link to some real bombs
http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/xmasspecials/xmasspecials.asp
Sunday, November 13, 2005
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y
Hey, I'm back. I know it's been a while, but I'm sure nobody missed me.
Anyway, since this blog has turned into a Top 10 list, I'm gonna hit you with one more.
Last week, I rented Season 1 of Pee Wee's Playhouse on DVD for my kids. I have to say they loved it, and I have to say, it still made me crack up. So, while raking 8,000 leaves on Saturday, I started thinking about what were my favorite Saturday Morning Shows back in the day.
Also, when I think back to those times, I always remember that on the Friday night before the shows all made their debuts in September, there would be a show previewing them. Pretty hard core stuff.
The only criteria is they had to be on network TV (CBS, NBC or ABC) and they had to be on Saturday mornings. Also, some cartoon staples like Underdog and Scooby Doo have been left off. They are all-time classics, not just Saturday morning shows. There here are basically shows that were only seen on Saturday mornings.
See, here goes, the top 10 top Saturday Morning Shows of all time.
1. Pee Wee's Playhouse (CBS) - How great was this show? I used to wake up -- even while severly hung over -- in college on Saturday mornings just to watch it. If you remember watching it, go out and rent the DVD and you will laugh your arse off. If you've never seen it, rent it and look for young stars such as Lawrence Fishburne and Phil Hartman in the show. The dame from the original Law & Order is also on there. Great show.
2. Hong Kong Phooey (ABC). Man, I loved this show. Scatman Crothers was great as the title role and they had some hot cop dame running around too. In case you forgot, the cat's name was Spike.
3. The Hudson Brothers (CBS). These dancing and singing brothers were dubbed "The Kings of Saturday Morning" by their friend John Lennon. I believe one of them even knocked up Goldie Hawn and produced the lovely Kate Hudson. Anway, they did lots of goofy schtick, but it was good stuff. You don't get TV like this anymore.
4. Big John, Little John (NBC). After his run as Oliver on the Brady Bunch, Robby Rist returned in a Saturday monring sitcom where the great actor Herb Adelman would - everyonce in a while - turn into a 12-year-old kid. The theme song was very catchy. Hard to believe networks produced sitcoms just for Saturday morning, but they did.
5. Shazam (CBS). Two great things about this show. The title charcater was played by the David Cassidy wannabe who blew off Marcia on the Brady Bunch episode where she works in Mr. Haskell's ice cream shop. Also, it's the only TV show in history where a superhero rides around in a winnebago. But that's what it was and it made for great schtick and action.
6. Superfriends (ABC). All the superheroes in joint, and Ted Knight doing the narration. I have to say while I loved the show, I hated the friggin super twins.
7. Pink Panther (NBC). The cat never said a damn word, but boy was he funny.
(As you can tell, I'm running out of steam).
8. The Odd-Ball Couple. It was cartoon version of the Odd Couple, but it featured a cat (Spiffy) and a dog (Fleabag).
9. Fat Albert. I know, it's low on the list, but that's because I don't like Bill Cosby.
10. Far-Out Space Nuts. Bob Denver and Chuck McCann as dudes lost in space. What else could you want with your Cap N Crunch.
OK. There are some obvious omissions like Land of the Lost, and H.R. Puffenstuff and Sigmund and the Sea-Monsters. Well, you know what, I didn't like those shows, what can I tell you? As for the Smurfs. F--- them.
Anyway, since this blog has turned into a Top 10 list, I'm gonna hit you with one more.
Last week, I rented Season 1 of Pee Wee's Playhouse on DVD for my kids. I have to say they loved it, and I have to say, it still made me crack up. So, while raking 8,000 leaves on Saturday, I started thinking about what were my favorite Saturday Morning Shows back in the day.
Also, when I think back to those times, I always remember that on the Friday night before the shows all made their debuts in September, there would be a show previewing them. Pretty hard core stuff.
The only criteria is they had to be on network TV (CBS, NBC or ABC) and they had to be on Saturday mornings. Also, some cartoon staples like Underdog and Scooby Doo have been left off. They are all-time classics, not just Saturday morning shows. There here are basically shows that were only seen on Saturday mornings.
See, here goes, the top 10 top Saturday Morning Shows of all time.
1. Pee Wee's Playhouse (CBS) - How great was this show? I used to wake up -- even while severly hung over -- in college on Saturday mornings just to watch it. If you remember watching it, go out and rent the DVD and you will laugh your arse off. If you've never seen it, rent it and look for young stars such as Lawrence Fishburne and Phil Hartman in the show. The dame from the original Law & Order is also on there. Great show.
2. Hong Kong Phooey (ABC). Man, I loved this show. Scatman Crothers was great as the title role and they had some hot cop dame running around too. In case you forgot, the cat's name was Spike.
3. The Hudson Brothers (CBS). These dancing and singing brothers were dubbed "The Kings of Saturday Morning" by their friend John Lennon. I believe one of them even knocked up Goldie Hawn and produced the lovely Kate Hudson. Anway, they did lots of goofy schtick, but it was good stuff. You don't get TV like this anymore.
4. Big John, Little John (NBC). After his run as Oliver on the Brady Bunch, Robby Rist returned in a Saturday monring sitcom where the great actor Herb Adelman would - everyonce in a while - turn into a 12-year-old kid. The theme song was very catchy. Hard to believe networks produced sitcoms just for Saturday morning, but they did.
5. Shazam (CBS). Two great things about this show. The title charcater was played by the David Cassidy wannabe who blew off Marcia on the Brady Bunch episode where she works in Mr. Haskell's ice cream shop. Also, it's the only TV show in history where a superhero rides around in a winnebago. But that's what it was and it made for great schtick and action.
6. Superfriends (ABC). All the superheroes in joint, and Ted Knight doing the narration. I have to say while I loved the show, I hated the friggin super twins.
7. Pink Panther (NBC). The cat never said a damn word, but boy was he funny.
(As you can tell, I'm running out of steam).
8. The Odd-Ball Couple. It was cartoon version of the Odd Couple, but it featured a cat (Spiffy) and a dog (Fleabag).
9. Fat Albert. I know, it's low on the list, but that's because I don't like Bill Cosby.
10. Far-Out Space Nuts. Bob Denver and Chuck McCann as dudes lost in space. What else could you want with your Cap N Crunch.
OK. There are some obvious omissions like Land of the Lost, and H.R. Puffenstuff and Sigmund and the Sea-Monsters. Well, you know what, I didn't like those shows, what can I tell you? As for the Smurfs. F--- them.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE
While driving to work today, I was listening to the SIRIUS Springsteen station, and since I'm in the mood of listing songs, I decided to list some bruce tunes.
There will be 2 categories of 10 songs each: The 10 best, the ten worst.
I'm taking into consideration most of his tunes. I don't have Devils and Dust, so that's out. Any rarities will also likely be out. Also, I'm trying to mix it up. Obviously, almost every track on Born to Run could be in the top 10, but I won't do that.
I'm sure I'll be ripped for some of my picks, but that's how it goes.
THE 10 BEST
1. Born to Run. An obvious pick, I know, but this tune is what he's always been about (overcoming all sorts of crap, chicks, cars & Jersey).
2. Rosalita (Come out Tonight). A classic. Not much else to say.
3. Thunder Road. Crank this baby up while your driving down the Garden State Parkway. Nothing beats it.
4. Streets of Philadelphia. Tremendous song. Really captures the desperation Tom Hanks portrays in the film.
5. Prove it All Night. To me, it's his best tune on Darkness. Great intro. Great guitar/sax solos.
6. Sherry Darling. Bruce as his partying best. Also shows off his sense of humor.
7. Lost in the Flood. The sleeper of the group. It's intense, it's hard core. It's early Bruce in a nutshell.
8. Point Blank. An amazing song. Haunting piano is great. Also, I messed around with a dame in college while this played on a continuous loop. That could be affecting my decision.
9. Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I know I'll get ripped for this choice, but let's face it, it's a Bruce classic.
10. Atlantic City. Bruce sings about another boardwalk in Jersey for once with awesome results.
OK. Now it could get nasty
THE 10 WORST
1. Mary Queen of Arkansas. Hard to believe the same dude that wrote the above 10 banged this one out.
2. The Angel. Hard to believe he put 1 & 2 on the same album and it's still a great disc.
3. The Big Muddy. Perhaps his best B&B song (bathroom and beer) during a concert.
4. American Skin. The cops werent' walking out of his concerts because they were pissed about the song, it's because the song blows.
5. Dancing in the Dark. A pop piece of crap with weak keyboard riff.
6. Man's Job. SOng is bad enough, but the backup singing at the end is the final insult on this waste of vinyl.
7. My Hometown. What a sappy piece of junk.
8. Merry Christmas Baby. Imagine seeing Bruce in concert, Clarence comes out in the Santa suit and he plays this instead of Santa Coming to Town. Can you say REFUND.
9. I wanna marry you. OK Bruce, you wanna marry her. How many times do you have to say it?
10. Secret Garden. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
That's it for now. Rip away. I can take it.
There will be 2 categories of 10 songs each: The 10 best, the ten worst.
I'm taking into consideration most of his tunes. I don't have Devils and Dust, so that's out. Any rarities will also likely be out. Also, I'm trying to mix it up. Obviously, almost every track on Born to Run could be in the top 10, but I won't do that.
I'm sure I'll be ripped for some of my picks, but that's how it goes.
THE 10 BEST
1. Born to Run. An obvious pick, I know, but this tune is what he's always been about (overcoming all sorts of crap, chicks, cars & Jersey).
2. Rosalita (Come out Tonight). A classic. Not much else to say.
3. Thunder Road. Crank this baby up while your driving down the Garden State Parkway. Nothing beats it.
4. Streets of Philadelphia. Tremendous song. Really captures the desperation Tom Hanks portrays in the film.
5. Prove it All Night. To me, it's his best tune on Darkness. Great intro. Great guitar/sax solos.
6. Sherry Darling. Bruce as his partying best. Also shows off his sense of humor.
7. Lost in the Flood. The sleeper of the group. It's intense, it's hard core. It's early Bruce in a nutshell.
8. Point Blank. An amazing song. Haunting piano is great. Also, I messed around with a dame in college while this played on a continuous loop. That could be affecting my decision.
9. Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I know I'll get ripped for this choice, but let's face it, it's a Bruce classic.
10. Atlantic City. Bruce sings about another boardwalk in Jersey for once with awesome results.
OK. Now it could get nasty
THE 10 WORST
1. Mary Queen of Arkansas. Hard to believe the same dude that wrote the above 10 banged this one out.
2. The Angel. Hard to believe he put 1 & 2 on the same album and it's still a great disc.
3. The Big Muddy. Perhaps his best B&B song (bathroom and beer) during a concert.
4. American Skin. The cops werent' walking out of his concerts because they were pissed about the song, it's because the song blows.
5. Dancing in the Dark. A pop piece of crap with weak keyboard riff.
6. Man's Job. SOng is bad enough, but the backup singing at the end is the final insult on this waste of vinyl.
7. My Hometown. What a sappy piece of junk.
8. Merry Christmas Baby. Imagine seeing Bruce in concert, Clarence comes out in the Santa suit and he plays this instead of Santa Coming to Town. Can you say REFUND.
9. I wanna marry you. OK Bruce, you wanna marry her. How many times do you have to say it?
10. Secret Garden. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
That's it for now. Rip away. I can take it.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
UNDER THE COVERS
I posted a list of some of the worst cover songs a few weeks ago, and promised my list of best cover songs. So here goes.
A few things to remember: I'm only including songs that were somewhat hits or generally popular. So if I leave out some obscure cover by someone, that's why.
Also, to me, what makes a great cover is changing the song a bit. If you do just a straight up ripoff of the original, that doesn't count in my book. Also, if the original was kind of obscure, that doesn't count either. Aretha Franklin's Respect is actually a cover of an Otis Redding tune, but not many have actually heard that one.
Finally, this is just a list off the top of my head. No real research has gone into this. Feel free to rip me if you wish
1. All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix. Dylan wrote it and recorded it first - a bluesy, harmonica renedition. Hendrix took it and made it into a rock classic. To me, this is the greatest cover since Hendrix took an already great song, changed it, and made a tremendous record.
2. Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye - The underrated Gladys Knight banged it out a year before Marvin's soulful version was released. Sadly, when people hear this song now, they think about the stupid dancing raisins. However, a great version of a great song.
3. Higher Ground - RHCP. Little Stevie Wonder banged out a soulful version first, ad the Chilis turned into a funk-rock classic years later.
4. Always Something There to Remind Me by Naked Eyes. I have to say I really enjoy this version. It's a classic 80s' tune and it still holds up today. This song, originally penned by Burt Bacharac - has been covered by millions of people, but the Naked Eyes version, with it's techno intro and catchy bass line is the best.
5. Baby One More Time by Fountains of Wayne. OK, their video didn't feature them running around in skimpy school-girl outfits like Ms. Spears, but there version of Brittany's first hit is pretty cool. I actually makes you realize what a good song it is.
Again, these are just off the top of my head.
Again, feel free to rip.
A few things to remember: I'm only including songs that were somewhat hits or generally popular. So if I leave out some obscure cover by someone, that's why.
Also, to me, what makes a great cover is changing the song a bit. If you do just a straight up ripoff of the original, that doesn't count in my book. Also, if the original was kind of obscure, that doesn't count either. Aretha Franklin's Respect is actually a cover of an Otis Redding tune, but not many have actually heard that one.
Finally, this is just a list off the top of my head. No real research has gone into this. Feel free to rip me if you wish
1. All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix. Dylan wrote it and recorded it first - a bluesy, harmonica renedition. Hendrix took it and made it into a rock classic. To me, this is the greatest cover since Hendrix took an already great song, changed it, and made a tremendous record.
2. Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye - The underrated Gladys Knight banged it out a year before Marvin's soulful version was released. Sadly, when people hear this song now, they think about the stupid dancing raisins. However, a great version of a great song.
3. Higher Ground - RHCP. Little Stevie Wonder banged out a soulful version first, ad the Chilis turned into a funk-rock classic years later.
4. Always Something There to Remind Me by Naked Eyes. I have to say I really enjoy this version. It's a classic 80s' tune and it still holds up today. This song, originally penned by Burt Bacharac - has been covered by millions of people, but the Naked Eyes version, with it's techno intro and catchy bass line is the best.
5. Baby One More Time by Fountains of Wayne. OK, their video didn't feature them running around in skimpy school-girl outfits like Ms. Spears, but there version of Brittany's first hit is pretty cool. I actually makes you realize what a good song it is.
Again, these are just off the top of my head.
Again, feel free to rip.
Friday, October 28, 2005
MUCK AND MEYER
I just got done watching Herbie Fully Loaded with my kids and I gotta say that Linsday Lohan is quite a looker. I think I may have to purchase this film and encourage my kids to watch it over and over again.
However, the film features an actor, who I must say, has no talent, and pretty much no pulse whatsoever, yet he keeps getting tons of work. I'm talking, of course, about the bland Brecken Meyer.
As much as Tom Cruise infuriates me, at least the cat has talent. This Brecken Meyer kid has nothing. NOTHING. He's as interesting as a dead fly (even that's a stretch).
I used to find the fact that this cat keeps getting work more baffling than the fact that someone keeps greenlighting Rob Schneider movies. BUt then it dawned on me. The Meyer kid is damn smart.
While the Joacquin Phoenixes and Russ Crowes of the world keep going for this intense, acting-challening parts, this Meyer kid keeps taking the dull, white guy role.
Think about it (Road Trip, Rat Race, Herbie). He's the same guy - HIMSELF. Even his character on Inside Schwartz was the same - a non-interesting white guy.
He tried a little acting in Clueless (he was the stoner dude), but after that he learned to not try so hard.
I used to think he was a dope, but he's actually a genius. He'll work forever in Hollywood just being a big white blah. I see he's also staring in Garfield 2 as Jon. If there's a more dull, white dude than Garfield's owner, I can't find him. It's the role Meyer was born to play.
However, the film features an actor, who I must say, has no talent, and pretty much no pulse whatsoever, yet he keeps getting tons of work. I'm talking, of course, about the bland Brecken Meyer.
As much as Tom Cruise infuriates me, at least the cat has talent. This Brecken Meyer kid has nothing. NOTHING. He's as interesting as a dead fly (even that's a stretch).
I used to find the fact that this cat keeps getting work more baffling than the fact that someone keeps greenlighting Rob Schneider movies. BUt then it dawned on me. The Meyer kid is damn smart.
While the Joacquin Phoenixes and Russ Crowes of the world keep going for this intense, acting-challening parts, this Meyer kid keeps taking the dull, white guy role.
Think about it (Road Trip, Rat Race, Herbie). He's the same guy - HIMSELF. Even his character on Inside Schwartz was the same - a non-interesting white guy.
He tried a little acting in Clueless (he was the stoner dude), but after that he learned to not try so hard.
I used to think he was a dope, but he's actually a genius. He'll work forever in Hollywood just being a big white blah. I see he's also staring in Garfield 2 as Jon. If there's a more dull, white dude than Garfield's owner, I can't find him. It's the role Meyer was born to play.
COME OUT AND PLAY
Well, it was certainly a big week for c-list celebrities coming out of the closet.
First, Sheryl Swoopes admitted on Wednesday she was a lesbian. Funny how it coincided with her signing an endorsement deal with a lesbian cruise line, but anyway, is anyone really shocked? I mean, I think WNBA players should hold a press conference to announce they are straight.
And then yesterday, George Takei (aka Mr. Sulu) announced he was gay. Again, who cares. I didn't even know the dude was still alive.
Anyway, we all know when it comes to celebs, things come in threes. So we can only guess another famous person not too many people care about will come out this week. Here are some guesses with odds
1. Katie Holmes (20-1) It will turn out, after all these years, that Tom Cruise is really her beard, instead of the other way around. And before you bring up her impending pregnancy, remember, Swoopes has an 8-year-old son
2. Ed Asner. (40-1) If you look closely, he was checking out Murray all those years ago. It's possible, but not probable.
3. Leonard Nimoy (50-1). Man, that must've been some trip through space. I hear he had a pointy-ear fetish. The Vulcan death pinch was his version of the date-rape drug.
4. The father from the family guy (2-1). Could be the most overrated show in TV history, but it certainly appears as if the dude has a set of nuts on his chin every moment of the day.
5. Bugs Bunny (6-1). Seemed he was dressing up like a lady an awfully lot.
This of course is all in jest, but really, who gives a sh-t what these people do? If you found out tomorrow Michael Jordan was gay (just using this as an example) would it diminish what he did on the basketball court? Of course not? So again, who CARES.
This, of course, is not a prelude to me coming out, but just my thoughts on how screwed up this country is when it comes to people's personal lives.
By the way, if you're wondering why I'm linking all these photos it's because - for some reason -I can't paste them on here anymore.
First, Sheryl Swoopes admitted on Wednesday she was a lesbian. Funny how it coincided with her signing an endorsement deal with a lesbian cruise line, but anyway, is anyone really shocked? I mean, I think WNBA players should hold a press conference to announce they are straight.
And then yesterday, George Takei (aka Mr. Sulu) announced he was gay. Again, who cares. I didn't even know the dude was still alive.
Anyway, we all know when it comes to celebs, things come in threes. So we can only guess another famous person not too many people care about will come out this week. Here are some guesses with odds
1. Katie Holmes (20-1) It will turn out, after all these years, that Tom Cruise is really her beard, instead of the other way around. And before you bring up her impending pregnancy, remember, Swoopes has an 8-year-old son
2. Ed Asner. (40-1) If you look closely, he was checking out Murray all those years ago. It's possible, but not probable.
3. Leonard Nimoy (50-1). Man, that must've been some trip through space. I hear he had a pointy-ear fetish. The Vulcan death pinch was his version of the date-rape drug.
4. The father from the family guy (2-1). Could be the most overrated show in TV history, but it certainly appears as if the dude has a set of nuts on his chin every moment of the day.
5. Bugs Bunny (6-1). Seemed he was dressing up like a lady an awfully lot.
This of course is all in jest, but really, who gives a sh-t what these people do? If you found out tomorrow Michael Jordan was gay (just using this as an example) would it diminish what he did on the basketball court? Of course not? So again, who CARES.
This, of course, is not a prelude to me coming out, but just my thoughts on how screwed up this country is when it comes to people's personal lives.
By the way, if you're wondering why I'm linking all these photos it's because - for some reason -I can't paste them on here anymore.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
DRINK OR TREAT
Well, Halloweeen is just about upon us and I have to say, even in my adult stage, it's still one of my favorite holidays.
First of all, having kids, they get you pumped up for it because they are so nuts about it.
Second of all, having plenty of ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon on hand is also a big help.
Basically, me and my neighbors take the kids around and we usually bring along a wagon (We say it's to pull the kids) that we fill with about 24 cold ones. The cup holder in the baby stroller also helps.
Anyway, there's nothing like downing a cold one while watching people you don't know give your kids free candy. It's great.
Now with the holiday season upon us, I'm gonna rank my favorite holidays, with some comments.
Here goes:
1. Christmas: Still the best. Sure, shopping is a pain in the arse, but the internet is huge help. It's also a threat you can hold over the kids' heads for a few weeks. You know "Remember, Santa's watching, so you better be good."
2. Thanksgiving: Nothing like getting drunk & Watching football without leaving the house. Also, for some reason, it's the one day the wife doesn't give you any crap for being a lazy bum. I must admit, though, the Macy's parade is quite lame. The balloons are Ok, but that song and dance crap beforehand blows. Plus, can Al Roker be that hard up for cash, that he has to work on Turkey Day?
3. Easter: Yes, Easter, perhaps the most underrated holiday there is. It's not only the most important catholic holiday, it also marks the beginning of baseball season and spring, which means dames in skimpy outfits can't be that far behind.
4. Halloween: Read the above post. It also marks the end of baseball season.
5. Memorial Day: I gotta say, if I were a veteran I'd be pissed off about this one. A day in which we should be remembering those lost in war, it's pretty much become the unofficial beginning of summer, which is an excuse to go to the beach, the track, and get loaded. Sure, there a few obligatory parades thrown in, but the meaning of the day has gotten completely lost.
6. 4th of July: Ok, this could be higher, but the worst thing about the 4th is you feel you have to do something, which usually entails watching fireworks and getting caught in huge traffic jams. Also, if you go to lame party, you pretty much have to stay until after the fireworks. Luckily, I've been to a great party the last few years, so that hasn't been a problem. What pisses me off about 7/4 is the word dusk. Every place says "Fireworks begin at dusk." Just say 9:15, so everyone knows when they will start.
7. Valentine's Day: This could be higher, because - if you have a serious girlfriend/wife - you usually end up getting some, but for all the wrong reasons. As your about to get busy, you wonder why Hallmark can make your gal give it up when they say, but on a random Wednesday night in August, you can't. Anyway, I shouldn't complain.
8. New Year's Eve: VERY OVERRATED. With the amount of clowns living in this world, your best bet is to stay home with a case of beer and watch the people on ABC pretend it's New Year's Eve, when everyone knows that band portion of that show was recorded in early December in a studio in Seacaucus. If you go out, be prepared to deal with a bunch of amateurs.
9. New Year's Day: First of all, your usually hung over, and despite all the hype for college football, every game pretty much sucks. Nothing worse than getting pumped up for a game and you turn on the TV and it's Texas A&M vs. West Virginia. WHO F---ING CARES. Plus, at the end of the day, you realize the holidays are over and it's back to work.
10. Labor Day: What kind of holiday celebrates having to go to work? What a joke. Plus, it also marks the end of the summer. For parents with kids, they like it because the kids go off to school. The only good thing about Labor Day is you know Holiday's No. 1, 2 & 4 are right around the corner.
First of all, having kids, they get you pumped up for it because they are so nuts about it.
Second of all, having plenty of ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon on hand is also a big help.
Basically, me and my neighbors take the kids around and we usually bring along a wagon (We say it's to pull the kids) that we fill with about 24 cold ones. The cup holder in the baby stroller also helps.
Anyway, there's nothing like downing a cold one while watching people you don't know give your kids free candy. It's great.
Now with the holiday season upon us, I'm gonna rank my favorite holidays, with some comments.
Here goes:
1. Christmas: Still the best. Sure, shopping is a pain in the arse, but the internet is huge help. It's also a threat you can hold over the kids' heads for a few weeks. You know "Remember, Santa's watching, so you better be good."
2. Thanksgiving: Nothing like getting drunk & Watching football without leaving the house. Also, for some reason, it's the one day the wife doesn't give you any crap for being a lazy bum. I must admit, though, the Macy's parade is quite lame. The balloons are Ok, but that song and dance crap beforehand blows. Plus, can Al Roker be that hard up for cash, that he has to work on Turkey Day?
3. Easter: Yes, Easter, perhaps the most underrated holiday there is. It's not only the most important catholic holiday, it also marks the beginning of baseball season and spring, which means dames in skimpy outfits can't be that far behind.
4. Halloween: Read the above post. It also marks the end of baseball season.
5. Memorial Day: I gotta say, if I were a veteran I'd be pissed off about this one. A day in which we should be remembering those lost in war, it's pretty much become the unofficial beginning of summer, which is an excuse to go to the beach, the track, and get loaded. Sure, there a few obligatory parades thrown in, but the meaning of the day has gotten completely lost.
6. 4th of July: Ok, this could be higher, but the worst thing about the 4th is you feel you have to do something, which usually entails watching fireworks and getting caught in huge traffic jams. Also, if you go to lame party, you pretty much have to stay until after the fireworks. Luckily, I've been to a great party the last few years, so that hasn't been a problem. What pisses me off about 7/4 is the word dusk. Every place says "Fireworks begin at dusk." Just say 9:15, so everyone knows when they will start.
7. Valentine's Day: This could be higher, because - if you have a serious girlfriend/wife - you usually end up getting some, but for all the wrong reasons. As your about to get busy, you wonder why Hallmark can make your gal give it up when they say, but on a random Wednesday night in August, you can't. Anyway, I shouldn't complain.
8. New Year's Eve: VERY OVERRATED. With the amount of clowns living in this world, your best bet is to stay home with a case of beer and watch the people on ABC pretend it's New Year's Eve, when everyone knows that band portion of that show was recorded in early December in a studio in Seacaucus. If you go out, be prepared to deal with a bunch of amateurs.
9. New Year's Day: First of all, your usually hung over, and despite all the hype for college football, every game pretty much sucks. Nothing worse than getting pumped up for a game and you turn on the TV and it's Texas A&M vs. West Virginia. WHO F---ING CARES. Plus, at the end of the day, you realize the holidays are over and it's back to work.
10. Labor Day: What kind of holiday celebrates having to go to work? What a joke. Plus, it also marks the end of the summer. For parents with kids, they like it because the kids go off to school. The only good thing about Labor Day is you know Holiday's No. 1, 2 & 4 are right around the corner.
Monday, October 24, 2005
IT'S BEEN A WHILE
Hello, all. It's been a few weeks since my last post because
A: I'm generally lazy
B: Nothing's really gotten me wound up lately
C: My computer pretty much went in the tank and I've spent the last 4 days on the phone with Dell getting things back to normal. I pretty much had to relaunch windows on my computer, which means I either had to backup all the music files on had on my computer or let them go. I chose to let them go. I mean I had way too much crap on my computer anyway, so it's sort of like starting over, which I have to say, feels pretty good.
Anyway, a few thoughts going through my head in the last few weeks.
My NFL season is going pretty much in the tank. I mean the Rams won yesterday, but their 4 best players (Bulger, Holt, Bruce, Len Little) were all out. Thank goodness for the Saints. Anyway, something got me really wound up last week during the Monday night game at Indy. They showed a shot of the banners on the RCA Dome and one said "2003 AFC Finalists." I was shocked. I mean, what kind of franchise celebrates losing in the AFC Title game. I would've loved to be at that ceremony. "Fans, lets remember to last year when we came within one win of reaching the Super Bowl only to sh-t the bed once again in a big spot."
I couldn't find any photos of the 2003 banner, but they are also celebrating their heartbreaking win to the Steelers in 1995 with this one.
Quite lame. Really.
I'll be weighing in one Halloween in a few days.
Thanks for your patience.
A: I'm generally lazy
B: Nothing's really gotten me wound up lately
C: My computer pretty much went in the tank and I've spent the last 4 days on the phone with Dell getting things back to normal. I pretty much had to relaunch windows on my computer, which means I either had to backup all the music files on had on my computer or let them go. I chose to let them go. I mean I had way too much crap on my computer anyway, so it's sort of like starting over, which I have to say, feels pretty good.
Anyway, a few thoughts going through my head in the last few weeks.
My NFL season is going pretty much in the tank. I mean the Rams won yesterday, but their 4 best players (Bulger, Holt, Bruce, Len Little) were all out. Thank goodness for the Saints. Anyway, something got me really wound up last week during the Monday night game at Indy. They showed a shot of the banners on the RCA Dome and one said "2003 AFC Finalists." I was shocked. I mean, what kind of franchise celebrates losing in the AFC Title game. I would've loved to be at that ceremony. "Fans, lets remember to last year when we came within one win of reaching the Super Bowl only to sh-t the bed once again in a big spot."
I couldn't find any photos of the 2003 banner, but they are also celebrating their heartbreaking win to the Steelers in 1995 with this one.
Quite lame. Really.
I'll be weighing in one Halloween in a few days.
Thanks for your patience.
Friday, October 07, 2005
HOLMES AND YO YO
I'm sure all you dudes out there are crushed by the latest Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise news. And I'm sure most of you women our there are wondering why all men are so crushed by this.
So here it is in a nutshell.
Katie Holmes is very cute. She's doesn't live on whore Island with Paris Hilton, her Hubestank count is very low and she hasn't dated every QB in the NFL and Arena Football League. And there, is the rub.
While most men realize they have no shot with Hilton or Tara Reid or most of your young skanks running around Hollywood, they actually believed they would have a shot with Ms. Holmes. She's nice, wholesome, a gal you could bring home to mom. In reality, no average dude would even get into the batter's box with her, but it's a nice - and somewhat - slightly realistic fantasy.
And then out of nowhere comes Mr. Cruise. Gay or not? I'm not sure. I don't care. But, for the most part, he could have any dame he wants, and L. Ron Hubbard Jr. goes and picks our Katie. It's just not right. We all believed we could have Katie at hello and he goes and gets her.
Anyway, you gals out there, if you bring up the Holmes-Cruise relationship in front of any dude, you will now understand why they are so upset.
So here it is in a nutshell.
Katie Holmes is very cute. She's doesn't live on whore Island with Paris Hilton, her Hubestank count is very low and she hasn't dated every QB in the NFL and Arena Football League. And there, is the rub.
While most men realize they have no shot with Hilton or Tara Reid or most of your young skanks running around Hollywood, they actually believed they would have a shot with Ms. Holmes. She's nice, wholesome, a gal you could bring home to mom. In reality, no average dude would even get into the batter's box with her, but it's a nice - and somewhat - slightly realistic fantasy.
And then out of nowhere comes Mr. Cruise. Gay or not? I'm not sure. I don't care. But, for the most part, he could have any dame he wants, and L. Ron Hubbard Jr. goes and picks our Katie. It's just not right. We all believed we could have Katie at hello and he goes and gets her.
Anyway, you gals out there, if you bring up the Holmes-Cruise relationship in front of any dude, you will now understand why they are so upset.
Monday, October 03, 2005
MARTZ MADNESS
Another football Sunday has come and gone and once again I was reminded that my beloved St. Louis Rams are coached by the biggest idiot in the entire NFL.
Not sure if you saw Giants-Rams yesterday, but in a nutshell, the Rams fall behind by 20 points early, cut it to ten and have a chance to cut it to 3 facing a 3rd and 2 at the Giants 6. That when Mad Mike decides to run a gadget play, which results in a fumble. The Giants then recover, march down the field on the Rams awful defense and put the game away.
Since Dick Vermeil left St. Louis, Martz has single-handedly turned what could've been an NFL dynasty into an NFL Dukes of Hazzard.
He blew the 2001 Super Bowl by letting his arrogance filter down to his players, who figured they had the game won just by showing up.
He ran an offense that left Kurt Warner open to hit after hit and once the dude was banged up, he pretty much ran him out of town.
He hired his friend, Larry Marmie, to run the defense ----- INTO THE GROUND.
He's pompous, he's a moron, he doesn't know how to manage a game. Other than that he's OK.
That being said, in this joke of a league called the NFL, the Rams will still win the NFC West at 7-9 and likely win a game or two in the playoffs.
On a side note: All of you Giant fans making plans for Eli enshrinement in Canton, please settle down. He's played three of the worst passing defenses in the league _ Card, Saints, Rams - at home. If that cat puts up 40 points in Philly, or Washington, or even Dallas this week, then I'll clam up. Until then, can we stop the comparisons the Peyton. Perhaps the only comparison you can use right now is neither one of them has won a big game in their lives.
Sincerely,
Joe
Not sure if you saw Giants-Rams yesterday, but in a nutshell, the Rams fall behind by 20 points early, cut it to ten and have a chance to cut it to 3 facing a 3rd and 2 at the Giants 6. That when Mad Mike decides to run a gadget play, which results in a fumble. The Giants then recover, march down the field on the Rams awful defense and put the game away.
Since Dick Vermeil left St. Louis, Martz has single-handedly turned what could've been an NFL dynasty into an NFL Dukes of Hazzard.
He blew the 2001 Super Bowl by letting his arrogance filter down to his players, who figured they had the game won just by showing up.
He ran an offense that left Kurt Warner open to hit after hit and once the dude was banged up, he pretty much ran him out of town.
He hired his friend, Larry Marmie, to run the defense ----- INTO THE GROUND.
He's pompous, he's a moron, he doesn't know how to manage a game. Other than that he's OK.
That being said, in this joke of a league called the NFL, the Rams will still win the NFC West at 7-9 and likely win a game or two in the playoffs.
On a side note: All of you Giant fans making plans for Eli enshrinement in Canton, please settle down. He's played three of the worst passing defenses in the league _ Card, Saints, Rams - at home. If that cat puts up 40 points in Philly, or Washington, or even Dallas this week, then I'll clam up. Until then, can we stop the comparisons the Peyton. Perhaps the only comparison you can use right now is neither one of them has won a big game in their lives.
Sincerely,
Joe
Monday, September 26, 2005
86 is 86'D
I just got the news that Don Adams went to the old Cone of Silence in the sky last night. I have to say this news if very sad. First, Bob Denver and now Don Adams. Somebody better check on Don Knotts to make sure he's OK.
Instead of talking about how great Adams was - not enough room on the net to talk about that - I will use this moment to rail against current sitcom leading men.
If you watch TV these days, you'll realize that pretty much everyone on any sitcom is not acting, they are just playing themselves.
Think about it: Ray Romano, Kevin James, Chaz Sheen, John Cryer, George Lopez, Jim Belushi. These clowns are not acting, they are just playing themselves. There's no characters, it's the same character on every friggin show - a dad with kids trying to deal with his wife and job. It's really sad. There are no different sitcoms anymore. There are no guys trapped on an Island - except for Lost (real original idea there), there are no bumbling secret agents, there are no humble backwoods cops. Shit, there's not even goofy teenagers running scared of 5-3 Henry Winkler.
At least "Scrubs" has doctors running around, but that dude's movie Garden State was a bore, so I won't count that.
When you look back, friggin Mork and Mindy at least had a different idea. And, if you think about it, Welcome Back Kotter was groundbreaking.
I'm not sure if Get Smart is out on DVD yet, so in it's place, I'll try to get my hands on a copy of "The Nude Bomb" or season 1 of the Don Adams Screen Test
Goodspeed Maxwell, say hello to Thaddeus for us all.
Instead of talking about how great Adams was - not enough room on the net to talk about that - I will use this moment to rail against current sitcom leading men.
If you watch TV these days, you'll realize that pretty much everyone on any sitcom is not acting, they are just playing themselves.
Think about it: Ray Romano, Kevin James, Chaz Sheen, John Cryer, George Lopez, Jim Belushi. These clowns are not acting, they are just playing themselves. There's no characters, it's the same character on every friggin show - a dad with kids trying to deal with his wife and job. It's really sad. There are no different sitcoms anymore. There are no guys trapped on an Island - except for Lost (real original idea there), there are no bumbling secret agents, there are no humble backwoods cops. Shit, there's not even goofy teenagers running scared of 5-3 Henry Winkler.
At least "Scrubs" has doctors running around, but that dude's movie Garden State was a bore, so I won't count that.
When you look back, friggin Mork and Mindy at least had a different idea. And, if you think about it, Welcome Back Kotter was groundbreaking.
I'm not sure if Get Smart is out on DVD yet, so in it's place, I'll try to get my hands on a copy of "The Nude Bomb" or season 1 of the Don Adams Screen Test
Goodspeed Maxwell, say hello to Thaddeus for us all.
PAT'S ALL FOLKS
After watching a third week of the NFL, I've come to realize one thing - THE ENTIRE LEAGUE SUCKS EXCEPT FOR TWO GUYS.
Those two guys are Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri.
First of all, as a Rams fan, I hate these two dudes. The began their little run by ripping my heart out first.
But, much like Mariano Rivera, whom I also despite, you have to respect them.
I mean these two guys GET IT DONE EVERY FRIGGIN TIME. EVERY FRIGGIN TIME.
Steeler comeback? No problem. Martz favored by 40 points? No problem.
The worst thing about them and the Patriots is they don't just kick your ass. Rather, they leave you with the feeling of "you know, we really should've won that game." Ask any Rams, Panther, Eagle or Steeler fan and they'll tell you that.
As for the rest of the NFL. It's awful. Every team is pretty much the same, every game comes down to about 1-2 plays.
I hope Tagliabue is happy. His league sucks, but every fan - except for those in Arizona - feels his team has a legitimate shot each week to win a game. And that's the rub.
Cheer up, hockey is right around the corner.
Those two guys are Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri.
First of all, as a Rams fan, I hate these two dudes. The began their little run by ripping my heart out first.
But, much like Mariano Rivera, whom I also despite, you have to respect them.
I mean these two guys GET IT DONE EVERY FRIGGIN TIME. EVERY FRIGGIN TIME.
Steeler comeback? No problem. Martz favored by 40 points? No problem.
The worst thing about them and the Patriots is they don't just kick your ass. Rather, they leave you with the feeling of "you know, we really should've won that game." Ask any Rams, Panther, Eagle or Steeler fan and they'll tell you that.
As for the rest of the NFL. It's awful. Every team is pretty much the same, every game comes down to about 1-2 plays.
I hope Tagliabue is happy. His league sucks, but every fan - except for those in Arizona - feels his team has a legitimate shot each week to win a game. And that's the rub.
Cheer up, hockey is right around the corner.
Friday, September 23, 2005
WE HAVE A PROBLEM
My prayers go out to the city of Houston tonight. Imagine all the folks who fleed New Orleans for a new start and pretty much drove 4 hours right into the eye of an even worse storm.
Anyway, when Houston is back on it's feet, I'm sure the allen oldies band will be there to cheer everyone up. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, do it. They are amazing. They played in a Hoboken, NJ about three months agon and played a 5:40 show - WITHOUT ANY BREAKS.
CHeck em out and good luck Houston.
Here's their link
www.allenoldiesband.com
Anyway, when Houston is back on it's feet, I'm sure the allen oldies band will be there to cheer everyone up. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, do it. They are amazing. They played in a Hoboken, NJ about three months agon and played a 5:40 show - WITHOUT ANY BREAKS.
CHeck em out and good luck Houston.
Here's their link
www.allenoldiesband.com
WHAT'S THE POINT?
If you have 30 minutes to laugh your ass off please check out this site. Good luck
DA BEARS
The greatest movie of all time - The Bad News Bears - was just on HBO.
First of all, I find it funny that back in 1976 the writers of the movie knew even then that anyone associated with the Yankees would be pompous a-holes is quite funny.
Second of all, there are two embarrassing Oscar snubs in that film.First of all Walter Matthau should've been nominated for, and won, best actor for that film. He brings the whole thing together. His transformation from drunken, heartless bastard to drunken bastard with a heart is tremendous. The kids make the movie, but he carries the film.
Secondly, Vic Morrow deserved a best supporting actor award for his role of Roy Turner. He personifies perfectly the classic little league a-hole parent. He even smacked his kid around on the mound during a game.
The fact that this new version of the the BNB tried to cast Greg Kinnear in that role is a friggin insult to Morrow's legacy.
Thirdly, when AFI lists the greastest movie lines of all time, Tanner Boyle's "Hey Yankees, you can take that apology and that trophy and shove it straight up your ass" should be in the top 5. How many times during the last 10 years have you wanted to yell that at your TV while Derek Douchebag Jeter and Co. were winning.
In a few days, I will list the rest of my all-time Oscar snubs, like Wilder in Wonka and Alex Karras in Blazing Saddles.
First of all, I find it funny that back in 1976 the writers of the movie knew even then that anyone associated with the Yankees would be pompous a-holes is quite funny.
Second of all, there are two embarrassing Oscar snubs in that film.First of all Walter Matthau should've been nominated for, and won, best actor for that film. He brings the whole thing together. His transformation from drunken, heartless bastard to drunken bastard with a heart is tremendous. The kids make the movie, but he carries the film.
Secondly, Vic Morrow deserved a best supporting actor award for his role of Roy Turner. He personifies perfectly the classic little league a-hole parent. He even smacked his kid around on the mound during a game.
The fact that this new version of the the BNB tried to cast Greg Kinnear in that role is a friggin insult to Morrow's legacy.
Thirdly, when AFI lists the greastest movie lines of all time, Tanner Boyle's "Hey Yankees, you can take that apology and that trophy and shove it straight up your ass" should be in the top 5. How many times during the last 10 years have you wanted to yell that at your TV while Derek Douchebag Jeter and Co. were winning.
In a few days, I will list the rest of my all-time Oscar snubs, like Wilder in Wonka and Alex Karras in Blazing Saddles.
INDIAN GIVER
Living in the NY area, the airwaves on all the the sports talk radio stations have been poluted with talk of who should be the American League MVP. Everyone seems to think it's between A-Rod and Big Papi.
Well, first of all, who gives a crap?
Both teams are battling for their playoff lives and all everyone seems to care about is who will get some award voted on by a bunch of bitter sports writers in November.
Second of all, why bother debating it, since the winner of the award will likely be decided next weekend when the two teams play at Fenway in what will likely be a win-or-go-home scenario.
Third of all, how come Cleveland's Travis Hafner is not being included in this debate?
The award is called the MVP, but it's really a player of the year award. But if we were judging who is the most valuable player to have, it's gotta be Hafner in my book.
First of all, A-Rod and Papi are surrounded by great hitters up and down their lineups. I mean, A-Rod has the Balco Twins hitting behind him and Jeter hitting in front of him. He's never gonna get pitched around. Papi has Manny (Mr. Met 2006) Ramirez hitting behind him. He's never gonna get walked intentionally.
Hafner? This dude has pretty much carried Cleveland to the greatest second-half surge I have seen in a long time.
He's hit 5 of his 31 HRs against the White Sox - the team the Tribe is battling for the AL Central crown. By the way, those 5 HRs have come in 55 at-bats. Pretty good stuff. He's hit 9 HRs with runners in scoring position and 4 HRs with RISP and two outs. He's also hit 8 HRs with two outs and a runner on first.
He's batting .333 with RISP and two outs, and 29 RBIs.
He has 9 HRs in the month of September and has 6 HRs in the last 7 days.
He also doesn't have an All-Star in front of him and behind him in the order. Sure, like Papi, he's a DH, but ask yourself this - Would the Yanks and Red Sox still be in the hunt without A-Rod and Papi. And would the Indians - who have a better record than both the Yanks and Sox - be where they are without Hafner?
Just something to think about.
Well, first of all, who gives a crap?
Both teams are battling for their playoff lives and all everyone seems to care about is who will get some award voted on by a bunch of bitter sports writers in November.
Second of all, why bother debating it, since the winner of the award will likely be decided next weekend when the two teams play at Fenway in what will likely be a win-or-go-home scenario.
Third of all, how come Cleveland's Travis Hafner is not being included in this debate?
The award is called the MVP, but it's really a player of the year award. But if we were judging who is the most valuable player to have, it's gotta be Hafner in my book.
First of all, A-Rod and Papi are surrounded by great hitters up and down their lineups. I mean, A-Rod has the Balco Twins hitting behind him and Jeter hitting in front of him. He's never gonna get pitched around. Papi has Manny (Mr. Met 2006) Ramirez hitting behind him. He's never gonna get walked intentionally.
Hafner? This dude has pretty much carried Cleveland to the greatest second-half surge I have seen in a long time.
He's hit 5 of his 31 HRs against the White Sox - the team the Tribe is battling for the AL Central crown. By the way, those 5 HRs have come in 55 at-bats. Pretty good stuff. He's hit 9 HRs with runners in scoring position and 4 HRs with RISP and two outs. He's also hit 8 HRs with two outs and a runner on first.
He's batting .333 with RISP and two outs, and 29 RBIs.
He has 9 HRs in the month of September and has 6 HRs in the last 7 days.
He also doesn't have an All-Star in front of him and behind him in the order. Sure, like Papi, he's a DH, but ask yourself this - Would the Yanks and Red Sox still be in the hunt without A-Rod and Papi. And would the Indians - who have a better record than both the Yanks and Sox - be where they are without Hafner?
Just something to think about.
DON'T COVER ME
I was driving home from work tonight and on my Sirius radio heard Manfred Mann's cover of Bruce's Blinded by the Light. I have to say it's one of the worst cover versions of a song in the history of recording. I mean, were these dudes sitting around one day listening to Bruce's version and decided to shit all over it by adding 40 layers of cheezy keyboards and sophomoric guitar riffs. We might as well throw in some dopey sound effects, too.
Anyway, it got me thinking about some of the worst covers. Granted, these are all off the top of my head, so If I missed one, sorry
The worst.
1. Blinded by the Light - Manfred Mann (see above)
2. For You - Manfred Mann (also see above, but insert this Bruce tune off Greeting)
3. Anything Rod Stewart has done in the last 20 years. Not sure if you noticed, or cared, but since about 1984 the cat has totally mailed it in, covering anything from Van Morrison to Motown. I guess since one of his last original hits was "Some guys have all the luck" this isn't really a bad thing.
4. I'm sure Creed has covered someone and I sure it sucks
5. Billy Idol's Mony Mony. This isn't his fault. I actually used to love this tune, but it's gotten to the point than anytime you hear it, some drunk chicks have to yell "Hey, Get Laid, Get F-cked" and it's really annoying. Especially since those chicks have no intention of doing either. Anyway, great tune, but I can't stand hearing it anymore.
In a couple of days, I'll hit you with my favorite covers.
Anyway, it got me thinking about some of the worst covers. Granted, these are all off the top of my head, so If I missed one, sorry
The worst.
1. Blinded by the Light - Manfred Mann (see above)
2. For You - Manfred Mann (also see above, but insert this Bruce tune off Greeting)
3. Anything Rod Stewart has done in the last 20 years. Not sure if you noticed, or cared, but since about 1984 the cat has totally mailed it in, covering anything from Van Morrison to Motown. I guess since one of his last original hits was "Some guys have all the luck" this isn't really a bad thing.
4. I'm sure Creed has covered someone and I sure it sucks
5. Billy Idol's Mony Mony. This isn't his fault. I actually used to love this tune, but it's gotten to the point than anytime you hear it, some drunk chicks have to yell "Hey, Get Laid, Get F-cked" and it's really annoying. Especially since those chicks have no intention of doing either. Anyway, great tune, but I can't stand hearing it anymore.
In a couple of days, I'll hit you with my favorite covers.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
LARRY KING and JET BLUE
I'm sure most of you watched the Jet Blue drama unfold last night. I have to say it was pretty scary thinking you could actually watch a plane crash live on TV. Anyway, I learned two things yesterday.
1. That Jet Blue pilot is the coolest dude I've ever seen. That was damn impressive. They should make a movie about that dude, Jet Blue should give him a huge raise. That guy is a hero.
2. Larry King is a complete self-centered moron. Not sure if you caught it, but as the plane was about 10 feet from the ground, he started getting into a slight argument about whether the front landing gear was bent or crooked with some dude on the phone. Here it is, 140 peoples lives hanging in the balance - a remember most of them were watching CNN on the plane because Jet BLue has Direct TV - and here's this a-hole having a semantics debate. For the past 3 years this guy has exploited the Laci Peterson case to death, the missing chick in Aruba case to death and here he is getting into a little tiff with a plane either about to make a miraculous landing or a catastrophic crash. No wonder he can't keep a wife for more than 1 year or so. He probably starts aruging whether or not he's hard or erect before sex - a scene that is 10 times worse than any plane crash.
Anyway, thanks to the Jet Blue pilot for saving the day. Thanks to Larry King for ruining a great moment.
1. That Jet Blue pilot is the coolest dude I've ever seen. That was damn impressive. They should make a movie about that dude, Jet Blue should give him a huge raise. That guy is a hero.
2. Larry King is a complete self-centered moron. Not sure if you caught it, but as the plane was about 10 feet from the ground, he started getting into a slight argument about whether the front landing gear was bent or crooked with some dude on the phone. Here it is, 140 peoples lives hanging in the balance - a remember most of them were watching CNN on the plane because Jet BLue has Direct TV - and here's this a-hole having a semantics debate. For the past 3 years this guy has exploited the Laci Peterson case to death, the missing chick in Aruba case to death and here he is getting into a little tiff with a plane either about to make a miraculous landing or a catastrophic crash. No wonder he can't keep a wife for more than 1 year or so. He probably starts aruging whether or not he's hard or erect before sex - a scene that is 10 times worse than any plane crash.
Anyway, thanks to the Jet Blue pilot for saving the day. Thanks to Larry King for ruining a great moment.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
JUST SIT RIGHT BACK
Yesterday was a big day in my life - Gilligan's Island Season 2 arrived on DVD via mail.
I'll tell ya, it's one of the greatest sitcoms in the history of TV. What I love about it is they are on an uncharted Island, yet dozens of other people - Harold Hekuba, the Mosquitos, the Russian spy - seemed to find that joint no problem. How come the coast guard could never get there? Oh well.
The death of Bob Denver was quite sad. He was a fine actor, do you think they could've given him a better sendoff at the Emmys? I mean, Denver has done something few have - been the leading character in two major TV shows (Dobie Gillis, the Island, and you can even count Far Out Space Nuts if you wish). Not many folks have done that. Bill Bixby did Eddie's Father, My Favorite Martian and the Hulk. Ted Danson? Nah, Becker was OK, but not major.
The Giants-Saints game was quite an experience Monday. I have to say, after being in a stadium full of Giants fans that they and Yankee fans are the same people. Here's the profile. 1. Generally stupid. 2. Extremely obnoxius. 3. Know nothing about any other team than there's. 4. Have no respect for any human being not rooting for their team. 5. Believe they have something to do with their team's success, even the titles won 70 years ago.
Now, this is not aimed at the Giants/Yankee fans ages 40 and over. This is to all the 20-something knuckleheads who think making fun a dude who lost his house to a hurricane is funny.
That's all for now.
I'll tell ya, it's one of the greatest sitcoms in the history of TV. What I love about it is they are on an uncharted Island, yet dozens of other people - Harold Hekuba, the Mosquitos, the Russian spy - seemed to find that joint no problem. How come the coast guard could never get there? Oh well.
The death of Bob Denver was quite sad. He was a fine actor, do you think they could've given him a better sendoff at the Emmys? I mean, Denver has done something few have - been the leading character in two major TV shows (Dobie Gillis, the Island, and you can even count Far Out Space Nuts if you wish). Not many folks have done that. Bill Bixby did Eddie's Father, My Favorite Martian and the Hulk. Ted Danson? Nah, Becker was OK, but not major.
The Giants-Saints game was quite an experience Monday. I have to say, after being in a stadium full of Giants fans that they and Yankee fans are the same people. Here's the profile. 1. Generally stupid. 2. Extremely obnoxius. 3. Know nothing about any other team than there's. 4. Have no respect for any human being not rooting for their team. 5. Believe they have something to do with their team's success, even the titles won 70 years ago.
Now, this is not aimed at the Giants/Yankee fans ages 40 and over. This is to all the 20-something knuckleheads who think making fun a dude who lost his house to a hurricane is funny.
That's all for now.
Monday, September 19, 2005
MY NAME
In case, you're all wondering, Joe Pendleton is the great Rams QB who was killed in a horrible bicycle accident back in 1975.
His death spurred a bunch of odd events with the team, including millionaire Leo Farsnworth buying the team and then trying to become the QB, before he was murded by his wife and his wife's lover.
The Rams, led by Ron Jarret, then went on to beat the Steelers to win the Super Bowl.
If you haven't seen Heaven Can Wait, my apologies. If you have, you know what I'm talking about.
Go Rams.
PS. I'm not really a Saints fan, I'm really a Rams fan, but will root for Saints tonight because I hate the Giants and my friend is actualy a pre-Katrina Saints fan.
His death spurred a bunch of odd events with the team, including millionaire Leo Farsnworth buying the team and then trying to become the QB, before he was murded by his wife and his wife's lover.
The Rams, led by Ron Jarret, then went on to beat the Steelers to win the Super Bowl.
If you haven't seen Heaven Can Wait, my apologies. If you have, you know what I'm talking about.
Go Rams.
PS. I'm not really a Saints fan, I'm really a Rams fan, but will root for Saints tonight because I hate the Giants and my friend is actualy a pre-Katrina Saints fan.
HELLO ALL
Hello and welcome to fishingnotcatching. A brief explaination of the title. While on vacation in California many years ago, I was on Catalina Island and happened to walk by a store that rented fishing equipment and boats. While walking by a man was bitching and moaning to the owner that he didn't catch any fish. He complained for a few more minutes until the owner finally said, "that's why it's called fishing and not catching."
So there you go.
I'm getting pumped to go the Giants-Saints game tonight at Giants Stadium. I have several Dixie beers on ice in honor of the fine, yet dismayed city of New Orleans. The red beans and rice and anduille sausage are set to go. Just hope you are not sitting behind me - it could get ugly.
Go Saints.
So there you go.
I'm getting pumped to go the Giants-Saints game tonight at Giants Stadium. I have several Dixie beers on ice in honor of the fine, yet dismayed city of New Orleans. The red beans and rice and anduille sausage are set to go. Just hope you are not sitting behind me - it could get ugly.
Go Saints.
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