86 is 86'D

I just got the news that Don Adams went to the old Cone of Silence in the sky last night. I have to say this news if very sad. First, Bob Denver and now Don Adams. Somebody better check on Don Knotts to make sure he's OK.




Instead of talking about how great Adams was - not enough room on the net to talk about that - I will use this moment to rail against current sitcom leading men.

If you watch TV these days, you'll realize that pretty much everyone on any sitcom is not acting, they are just playing themselves.

Think about it: Ray Romano, Kevin James, Chaz Sheen, John Cryer, George Lopez, Jim Belushi. These clowns are not acting, they are just playing themselves. There's no characters, it's the same character on every friggin show - a dad with kids trying to deal with his wife and job. It's really sad. There are no different sitcoms anymore. There are no guys trapped on an Island - except for Lost (real original idea there), there are no bumbling secret agents, there are no humble backwoods cops. Shit, there's not even goofy teenagers running scared of 5-3 Henry Winkler.






At least "Scrubs" has doctors running around, but that dude's movie Garden State was a bore, so I won't count that.

When you look back, friggin Mork and Mindy at least had a different idea. And, if you think about it, Welcome Back Kotter was groundbreaking.

I'm not sure if Get Smart is out on DVD yet, so in it's place, I'll try to get my hands on a copy of "The Nude Bomb" or season 1 of the Don Adams Screen Test






Goodspeed Maxwell, say hello to Thaddeus for us all.

PAT'S ALL FOLKS

After watching a third week of the NFL, I've come to realize one thing - THE ENTIRE LEAGUE SUCKS EXCEPT FOR TWO GUYS.

Those two guys are Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri.

First of all, as a Rams fan, I hate these two dudes. The began their little run by ripping my heart out first.
But, much like Mariano Rivera, whom I also despite, you have to respect them.

I mean these two guys GET IT DONE EVERY FRIGGIN TIME. EVERY FRIGGIN TIME.






Steeler comeback? No problem. Martz favored by 40 points? No problem.

The worst thing about them and the Patriots is they don't just kick your ass. Rather, they leave you with the feeling of "you know, we really should've won that game." Ask any Rams, Panther, Eagle or Steeler fan and they'll tell you that.

As for the rest of the NFL. It's awful. Every team is pretty much the same, every game comes down to about 1-2 plays.

I hope Tagliabue is happy. His league sucks, but every fan - except for those in Arizona - feels his team has a legitimate shot each week to win a game. And that's the rub.

Cheer up, hockey is right around the corner.

WE HAVE A PROBLEM

My prayers go out to the city of Houston tonight. Imagine all the folks who fleed New Orleans for a new start and pretty much drove 4 hours right into the eye of an even worse storm.

Anyway, when Houston is back on it's feet, I'm sure the allen oldies band will be there to cheer everyone up. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, do it. They are amazing. They played in a Hoboken, NJ about three months agon and played a 5:40 show - WITHOUT ANY BREAKS.

CHeck em out and good luck Houston.

Here's their link

www.allenoldiesband.com

WHAT'S THE POINT?

If you have 30 minutes to laugh your ass off please check out this site. Good luck

DA BEARS

The greatest movie of all time - The Bad News Bears - was just on HBO.

First of all, I find it funny that back in 1976 the writers of the movie knew even then that anyone associated with the Yankees would be pompous a-holes is quite funny.

Second of all, there are two embarrassing Oscar snubs in that film.First of all Walter Matthau should've been nominated for, and won, best actor for that film. He brings the whole thing together. His transformation from drunken, heartless bastard to drunken bastard with a heart is tremendous. The kids make the movie, but he carries the film.

Secondly, Vic Morrow deserved a best supporting actor award for his role of Roy Turner. He personifies perfectly the classic little league a-hole parent. He even smacked his kid around on the mound during a game.

The fact that this new version of the the BNB tried to cast Greg Kinnear in that role is a friggin insult to Morrow's legacy.




Thirdly, when AFI lists the greastest movie lines of all time, Tanner Boyle's "Hey Yankees, you can take that apology and that trophy and shove it straight up your ass" should be in the top 5. How many times during the last 10 years have you wanted to yell that at your TV while Derek Douchebag Jeter and Co. were winning.

In a few days, I will list the rest of my all-time Oscar snubs, like Wilder in Wonka and Alex Karras in Blazing Saddles.

INDIAN GIVER

Living in the NY area, the airwaves on all the the sports talk radio stations have been poluted with talk of who should be the American League MVP. Everyone seems to think it's between A-Rod and Big Papi.
Well, first of all, who gives a crap?
Both teams are battling for their playoff lives and all everyone seems to care about is who will get some award voted on by a bunch of bitter sports writers in November.
Second of all, why bother debating it, since the winner of the award will likely be decided next weekend when the two teams play at Fenway in what will likely be a win-or-go-home scenario.
Third of all, how come Cleveland's Travis Hafner is not being included in this debate?
The award is called the MVP, but it's really a player of the year award. But if we were judging who is the most valuable player to have, it's gotta be Hafner in my book.

First of all, A-Rod and Papi are surrounded by great hitters up and down their lineups. I mean, A-Rod has the Balco Twins hitting behind him and Jeter hitting in front of him. He's never gonna get pitched around. Papi has Manny (Mr. Met 2006) Ramirez hitting behind him. He's never gonna get walked intentionally.

Hafner? This dude has pretty much carried Cleveland to the greatest second-half surge I have seen in a long time.




He's hit 5 of his 31 HRs against the White Sox - the team the Tribe is battling for the AL Central crown. By the way, those 5 HRs have come in 55 at-bats. Pretty good stuff. He's hit 9 HRs with runners in scoring position and 4 HRs with RISP and two outs. He's also hit 8 HRs with two outs and a runner on first.
He's batting .333 with RISP and two outs, and 29 RBIs.

He has 9 HRs in the month of September and has 6 HRs in the last 7 days.
He also doesn't have an All-Star in front of him and behind him in the order. Sure, like Papi, he's a DH, but ask yourself this - Would the Yanks and Red Sox still be in the hunt without A-Rod and Papi. And would the Indians - who have a better record than both the Yanks and Sox - be where they are without Hafner?

Just something to think about.

DON'T COVER ME

I was driving home from work tonight and on my Sirius radio heard Manfred Mann's cover of Bruce's Blinded by the Light. I have to say it's one of the worst cover versions of a song in the history of recording. I mean, were these dudes sitting around one day listening to Bruce's version and decided to shit all over it by adding 40 layers of cheezy keyboards and sophomoric guitar riffs. We might as well throw in some dopey sound effects, too.


Anyway, it got me thinking about some of the worst covers. Granted, these are all off the top of my head, so If I missed one, sorry

The worst.
1. Blinded by the Light - Manfred Mann (see above)
2. For You - Manfred Mann (also see above, but insert this Bruce tune off Greeting)
3. Anything Rod Stewart has done in the last 20 years. Not sure if you noticed, or cared, but since about 1984 the cat has totally mailed it in, covering anything from Van Morrison to Motown. I guess since one of his last original hits was "Some guys have all the luck" this isn't really a bad thing.



4. I'm sure Creed has covered someone and I sure it sucks
5. Billy Idol's Mony Mony. This isn't his fault. I actually used to love this tune, but it's gotten to the point than anytime you hear it, some drunk chicks have to yell "Hey, Get Laid, Get F-cked" and it's really annoying. Especially since those chicks have no intention of doing either. Anyway, great tune, but I can't stand hearing it anymore.

In a couple of days, I'll hit you with my favorite covers.

LARRY KING and JET BLUE

I'm sure most of you watched the Jet Blue drama unfold last night. I have to say it was pretty scary thinking you could actually watch a plane crash live on TV. Anyway, I learned two things yesterday.

1. That Jet Blue pilot is the coolest dude I've ever seen. That was damn impressive. They should make a movie about that dude, Jet Blue should give him a huge raise. That guy is a hero.



2. Larry King is a complete self-centered moron. Not sure if you caught it, but as the plane was about 10 feet from the ground, he started getting into a slight argument about whether the front landing gear was bent or crooked with some dude on the phone. Here it is, 140 peoples lives hanging in the balance - a remember most of them were watching CNN on the plane because Jet BLue has Direct TV - and here's this a-hole having a semantics debate. For the past 3 years this guy has exploited the Laci Peterson case to death, the missing chick in Aruba case to death and here he is getting into a little tiff with a plane either about to make a miraculous landing or a catastrophic crash. No wonder he can't keep a wife for more than 1 year or so. He probably starts aruging whether or not he's hard or erect before sex - a scene that is 10 times worse than any plane crash.



Anyway, thanks to the Jet Blue pilot for saving the day. Thanks to Larry King for ruining a great moment.

JUST SIT RIGHT BACK

Yesterday was a big day in my life - Gilligan's Island Season 2 arrived on DVD via mail.
I'll tell ya, it's one of the greatest sitcoms in the history of TV. What I love about it is they are on an uncharted Island, yet dozens of other people - Harold Hekuba, the Mosquitos, the Russian spy - seemed to find that joint no problem. How come the coast guard could never get there? Oh well.

The death of Bob Denver was quite sad. He was a fine actor, do you think they could've given him a better sendoff at the Emmys? I mean, Denver has done something few have - been the leading character in two major TV shows (Dobie Gillis, the Island, and you can even count Far Out Space Nuts if you wish). Not many folks have done that. Bill Bixby did Eddie's Father, My Favorite Martian and the Hulk. Ted Danson? Nah, Becker was OK, but not major.

The Giants-Saints game was quite an experience Monday. I have to say, after being in a stadium full of Giants fans that they and Yankee fans are the same people. Here's the profile. 1. Generally stupid. 2. Extremely obnoxius. 3. Know nothing about any other team than there's. 4. Have no respect for any human being not rooting for their team. 5. Believe they have something to do with their team's success, even the titles won 70 years ago.

Now, this is not aimed at the Giants/Yankee fans ages 40 and over. This is to all the 20-something knuckleheads who think making fun a dude who lost his house to a hurricane is funny.

That's all for now.

MY NAME

In case, you're all wondering, Joe Pendleton is the great Rams QB who was killed in a horrible bicycle accident back in 1975.
His death spurred a bunch of odd events with the team, including millionaire Leo Farsnworth buying the team and then trying to become the QB, before he was murded by his wife and his wife's lover.

The Rams, led by Ron Jarret, then went on to beat the Steelers to win the Super Bowl.

If you haven't seen Heaven Can Wait, my apologies. If you have, you know what I'm talking about.

Go Rams.

PS. I'm not really a Saints fan, I'm really a Rams fan, but will root for Saints tonight because I hate the Giants and my friend is actualy a pre-Katrina Saints fan.

HELLO ALL

Hello and welcome to fishingnotcatching. A brief explaination of the title. While on vacation in California many years ago, I was on Catalina Island and happened to walk by a store that rented fishing equipment and boats. While walking by a man was bitching and moaning to the owner that he didn't catch any fish. He complained for a few more minutes until the owner finally said, "that's why it's called fishing and not catching."

So there you go.

I'm getting pumped to go the Giants-Saints game tonight at Giants Stadium. I have several Dixie beers on ice in honor of the fine, yet dismayed city of New Orleans. The red beans and rice and anduille sausage are set to go. Just hope you are not sitting behind me - it could get ugly.

Go Saints.