SNOW BUSINESS

Well, we here on the East Coast are expecting a possible big snow storm Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Will it snow or not? Who the hell knows? But what I do know is when you turn on your local news tomorrow afternoon or night, I guarantee you will see this.

1. The channel will have some dopey name for its (see that JG) coverage: Something like

"Stormwatch 2007" or "Winter Blast 07."

2. The channel will have some a-hole posted at the Home Depot in North Secaucus interviewing folks buying rock salt and shovels.

3. The channel will have another clown outside the place where NYC dispatches its salt spreaders and plows, possibly interviewing the head of the road department.

4. If - and this is an if - the storm turns into a Nor'easter, some poor dude will be in Sea Bright, NJ, talking about possible flooding.

And finally:

5. If it's a huge snowfall, the weatherman will somehow take the blame for it. If it doesn't snow, he will somehow take credit for nothing happening.

Enjoy your show.

A few more things:

The beer count has doubled to 12. Last Monday, I went to see Rangers-Red Wings at the Garden and banged down a few Guiness before the tilt.

Speaking of hockey, did you see the story last week where it was reported a recent Devils game on TV was watched by only 700 households in the tri-state area? 700? Are you kidding me?

Now, localschill, before you remind me how many Cups the Devils have won over the past few years, don't waste your breath. I know how good the team is. I know how good Brodeur is. This is actually a rip at so-called Devil fans. Again, not you localshill, I know you are hard core. Who I can now laugh at though, is all the folks who someone show up during playoff time or who rip Ranger fans during the season or playoffs.

You see, the miniscule TV rating proves to me once and for all that A: There are only about 20,100 Devil fans on the planet, and B: That most folks who go to Devil games go for entertainment purposes, meaning, that once the game is over they don't think about the Devils until they go to their next game. They don't read about the team in the papers, they don't lose sleep after bad losses, they won't watch away games or home games they don't attend. They don't give a shit until the team is right in front of them.

Of course, alot of this is Lou Lamoriello's fault. While he's done an amazing job of building a great team, he's done a shitty job of promoting it. Actually, he's gone out of his way to not promote the team and its star players. Hence, nobody gives a shit.

But don't worry, once they open the new arena in Newark, no one will go to their games and therefore, maybe more people will watch on TV. Who knows, they might even hit triple digits in households.

I have one idea, during breaks in the action, they can show replays of Shakira's arse-shakin' performance from last night's Grammys. Good God. I nearly ruptured my undercarriage watching that.

Have fun in the snow.