OVERRATED, OVERRATED

Well, here it is, thanks to severe pressure from the Sandman, I present my list of the top 10 most overrated music acts in history.

A few things to consider as you read the list.

1. Just because the band/artist is the on the list, doesn't necessarily mean they suck. It only means, they are good/better than good, but not God-like like most people think they are.

2. Just because the band/artist is on the list, doesn't necessarily mean they don't suck, meaning, they can totally suck, but people love them.

3. Most of this is based on how I feel the general public rates these bands or artists. So it's possible I could be off base, but I doubt it.

4. Most bands that thrived in the 80s are not on here, since I feel most bands from that era are judged perfectly. For example, Bon Jovi and Def Leppard are not on this list. They are a better than average bands that many people love/like, but aren’t considered all-time greats. Speaking of Def Leppard, it reminds me of a joke I heard on a recent trip to Colorado. It goes like this: 'What has 9 arms and sucks."

Finally, this is the top 10. To me, everyone but the Beatles, The Stones, Elvis, Ramones and AC/DC are overrated (yes, even Bruce is a tad overrated, but he’s not on the top 10), so that’s where I’m coming from.

On that note. Here we go, the Joe Pendleton 10 most overrated music acts in history.
P.S. Some bands on this list are bands I like, so before you get pissed off if one of your all-time favs is on here, sorry.



10. THE SEX PISTOLS.
These dirt bags are credited as the fathers of punk rock, yet their ONE and ONLY ALBUM - Never Mind the Bullocks - came out 1 year after the Ramones debut disc. Hmmmmmm. As underrated as the Ramones are, these cats are overrated. They were more style than substance. Now, in accordance with the rules, I'm not saying these dudes suck, but they get way too much credit for being the leaders of a punk movement that had already started in New York. Plus, how can a band that put out just 1 album be credited with being the founding fathers of anything?

9. THE EAGLES
For me, these cats walk the thin line between greatness and pure shit. I think some of their songs are real strong (Already Gone, Take It Easy) while some - Hotel California, Lying Eyes - are drawn out bores. Honestly, when I was 10 I thought HC was a great tune, but listen to it now, with that mediocre, extended guitar solo at the end, and it’s pretty much pure shit. Plus, their music laid the groundwork for Don Henley's vastly overrated/wussy solo career. I think the root of my overratedness feeling about them is the fact that they charged outrageous prices for their reunion tours. Seriously, what is the big deal with these cats? I can see the Stones & the Who asking for big bucks since they merit it. To me, these dudes can't hold a candle to Skynyrd or the Allman Brothers, yet they are put up on some pedestal with some of the best bands of all time. For my money, I'd rather have Joe Walsh solo or with the James Gang, instead of hanging out with Henley and Glen "Smugglers Blues' Frey.

8. LITTLE JOHNNIE COUGAR MELLENCAMP: If Bruce is a Dylan ripoff, this cat is a Bruce ripoff. Problem is, while Springsteen pulls it off, this cat doesn’t. He did for a while, but lately he’s become a total clown/schill. Now, I’ve hammered Bruce for putting out the jug band album, but even I realize at least the cat changed things up a bit. This cat hasn’t. Despite having dollar bills pouring out of his ass, and despite being married to a super model, he’s still trying to push the same old middle America, blue-collar bullshit. Mabye it’s the “Our Country” song that has pushed me over the top, but let’s face it, this cat was done about 2 seconds into the Van Morrison remake. He doesn’t totally suck, but should never, even be mentioned in the same sentence as Springsteen. (Yes, I know I mentioned him in the same sentence as Springsteen, but that was to prove a point).

7. THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND: There are a few things in life I just don’t understand. 1: How do you compute someone’s QB rating and why do people think it’s a relevant stat? 2: How are American Idol and Survivor two of the top-rated shows in the world? 3: How the hell is this cat popular? I just don’t get it. Now, I’ll admit I’ve never been under the influence of anything but alcohol and Mrs. Pendleton, so maybe I’m out of the loop on this one, but honestly, what is the big draw with this cat? His annoying voice? His 3 hour and 20 minute songs? What is it? Listen, I know getting high at his shows must be a fun thing to do, but honestly, you could get high watching Gilligan’s Island and have just as good of a time (someone told me that the Professor is really funny that way). And if you need to get high to enjoy the music, than something is severely wrong. Listen, I’ve been loaded at many a Bruce show, but when I sober up the next day, I still will pop in a CD (unless it’s that jug band one). I can’t imagine listening to this cat while sober. I know the kids like him, but I think it has more to do with lack of a good jam band (Grateful Dead anyone) than anything else.

6. FLEETWOOD MAC
These cats and kittens nearly cracked the top 3, but I honestly don't give that much of a shit about them. I think my ire/overratedness stems from the blow job the Rumors album gets anytime it's mentioned. I mean, it's an OK album, but 50 years from now, when some cat is talking about the most important albums of all time, it will be mentioned a few discs after a Toby Keith album. Again, they are OK, but an all-time great. Not even close.

5. PHIL COLLINS: Let me start by saying I hate this dude more than anyone. First, because his music is lame, and two, because he’s nailing Channel 2’s Dana Tyler. Anyway, this cat almost landed two spots on the list (one for himself, and one for Genesis), but I figured I’d condense them. First, the solo stuff. We all know it sucks, yet somehow he’s considered a great singer/songwriter. Su-su-sudio is proof enough that’s not true. And then there’s Genesis. I have to say I do enjoy the album with the yellow shapes on the cover, but I can’t say the reasons why (It has nothing to do with the music). However, their rise up the pop charts in the 80s drove me nuts. The songs were shitty, that “progressive” type of music is boring and I hate Phil Collins (have I said that yet). If there’s one act that really let their videos (and not their music) ride them to the top, it was these assclowns. Plus, Genesis spawned Mike and the Mechanics, reason enough to be ripped.

4. RUSH: Now I’ll admit, I, like everyone else I know went through a Rush phase. There was a two-week span where I couldn’t get enough of the Moving Pictures album – BUT THAT’S WHEN I WAS 13. I made a lot of bad choices back then. I still thought chicks were icky . Listen, Rush is OK, just OK. I mean when a band relies on its drummer to carry it, you’ve got some problems. Geddy Lee’s voice could make dogs commit suicide. The other knock on these clowns is they didn’t know when to go away. After their early 80’s success, they should’ve packed it in. But no, they had to go with “Roll the Bones” and “Early Distant Warning,” two over-produced pieces of shite. Over-produced is about how I would sum up Rush, which by the way stands for Really Useless Shitty Hacks. Ok, not usless, but severly overrated as being one of the greatest rock bands of all time.

3. KISS: Growing up in New Jersey, every kid I knew also loved these guys. But, while I thought chicks were Icky and Rush was cool, I saw through these guys immediately. First of all, they are overrated in the sense that the makeup thing was cool. It wasn’t. It was a direct Alice Cooper/New York Dolls ripoff. Second, their music pretty much blew. They are the perfect definition of style over substance. Honestly, if you ever hear anyone talk about Kiss, their songs are about 20th on the priority list. First you talk about the makeup, then Gene Simmons’ tongue, then about the makeup, about what they might look like without the makeup, then about when they took the makeup off and so on and so on. Two other knocks on them, they needed to put out a totally puss song (Beth, sorry JG) to crack any pop charts, and they also banged out a shameful disco tune (I Was Made for Loving You). Really, the only good song they ever banged out is Hard-Luck Woman, and, of course, Ace Frehley’s “New York Groove.” By the way, did you know KISS stands for Sucks.

2. WILLIAM JOEL: When I leave this planet, I’m gonna know immediately if I’m in heaven or hell. If I’m in heaven, I will walk into Shea Stadium, where 50 super models with an unlimited supply of beer will be waiting for me to play an eternity’s worth of Wiffle Ball. But, if I walk into a room full of annoying chicks singing Piano Man at the top of their lungs, I’ll know Satan took me in a fantasy draft. I HATE THIS CAT. HATE with a capital HATE and I don’t understand why he is so popular. I’ll give you his music was good when he first came along. The Stranger album is great and Glass Houses even has its moments, but from then on, it’s been pure shit. The Innocent Man album, featuring suck rock classics as “Uptown Girl,” and “Tell Her About It,” was a huge success, but it was really a huge piece of shit. But not his hughest, no he saved that for ”We Didn’t Start the Fire,” his musical trip through history. From then he’s been putting out crap on top of crap, on top of crap. Honestly, a lot of this list has hints of schtick, this is not. I just don’t get the deal with this cat. I could see chicks liking him and my parents liking him and 3-year-old liking him, but when I hear people my age say he’s great or he’s awesome, I want to hop in a car and drive into a house. As for Piano Man, it’s No. 1 on the list of songs I hate hearing people singing along to at bars. No. 2 is Paradise by the Dashboard Light. No. 3: Mony, Mony.

1. PINK FLOYD: When I saw a few weeks ago the JG went to AC to see a Floyd tribute band, I started to rethink this one since I value her musical judgment quite highly. But the more I thought about it (Sandman this is what’s held up the list, I really did debate this one for a week or so) I had to go with my heart. Unlike Dave Matthews, where fans have to get high to enjoy the music, I think Floyd fans get high to prevent dozing off during a song. To me, these cats are a pure fucking bore. The only time I really enjoyed a Floyd album is while watching the Wizard of Oz. Now, I do like a few tunes (even some boring ones) like Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Wish You Were Here, but that’s it. The more I hear The Wall, with the stupid kids singing and the sound effects and shit like that, the more I hate it. Perhaps some day when the Pendleton kids are of age, I’ll roll up a big fattie, pop on Dark Side of the Moon and see if things change, but for now, I find these cats vastly overrated. They are not the shittiest act on the list (Bill Joel will always hold that title), but they are the most overrated.

FEEL FREE TO RIP AWAY.

Well, there you go.

I'll let all you fans digest this one for a few days before I weigh in (excuse the pun) on the death of the great Anna Nicole Smith.

Also, a big update in the beer count.