DRINK OR TREAT

Well, Halloweeen is just about upon us and I have to say, even in my adult stage, it's still one of my favorite holidays.

First of all, having kids, they get you pumped up for it because they are so nuts about it.
Second of all, having plenty of ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon on hand is also a big help.
Basically, me and my neighbors take the kids around and we usually bring along a wagon (We say it's to pull the kids) that we fill with about 24 cold ones. The cup holder in the baby stroller also helps.

Anyway, there's nothing like downing a cold one while watching people you don't know give your kids free candy. It's great.

Now with the holiday season upon us, I'm gonna rank my favorite holidays, with some comments.

Here goes:

1. Christmas: Still the best. Sure, shopping is a pain in the arse, but the internet is huge help. It's also a threat you can hold over the kids' heads for a few weeks. You know "Remember, Santa's watching, so you better be good."

2. Thanksgiving: Nothing like getting drunk & Watching football without leaving the house. Also, for some reason, it's the one day the wife doesn't give you any crap for being a lazy bum. I must admit, though, the Macy's parade is quite lame. The balloons are Ok, but that song and dance crap beforehand blows. Plus, can Al Roker be that hard up for cash, that he has to work on Turkey Day?

3. Easter: Yes, Easter, perhaps the most underrated holiday there is. It's not only the most important catholic holiday, it also marks the beginning of baseball season and spring, which means dames in skimpy outfits can't be that far behind.

4. Halloween: Read the above post. It also marks the end of baseball season.

5. Memorial Day: I gotta say, if I were a veteran I'd be pissed off about this one. A day in which we should be remembering those lost in war, it's pretty much become the unofficial beginning of summer, which is an excuse to go to the beach, the track, and get loaded. Sure, there a few obligatory parades thrown in, but the meaning of the day has gotten completely lost.

6. 4th of July: Ok, this could be higher, but the worst thing about the 4th is you feel you have to do something, which usually entails watching fireworks and getting caught in huge traffic jams. Also, if you go to lame party, you pretty much have to stay until after the fireworks. Luckily, I've been to a great party the last few years, so that hasn't been a problem. What pisses me off about 7/4 is the word dusk. Every place says "Fireworks begin at dusk." Just say 9:15, so everyone knows when they will start.

7. Valentine's Day: This could be higher, because - if you have a serious girlfriend/wife - you usually end up getting some, but for all the wrong reasons. As your about to get busy, you wonder why Hallmark can make your gal give it up when they say, but on a random Wednesday night in August, you can't. Anyway, I shouldn't complain.

8. New Year's Eve: VERY OVERRATED. With the amount of clowns living in this world, your best bet is to stay home with a case of beer and watch the people on ABC pretend it's New Year's Eve, when everyone knows that band portion of that show was recorded in early December in a studio in Seacaucus. If you go out, be prepared to deal with a bunch of amateurs.

9. New Year's Day: First of all, your usually hung over, and despite all the hype for college football, every game pretty much sucks. Nothing worse than getting pumped up for a game and you turn on the TV and it's Texas A&M vs. West Virginia. WHO F---ING CARES. Plus, at the end of the day, you realize the holidays are over and it's back to work.

10. Labor Day: What kind of holiday celebrates having to go to work? What a joke. Plus, it also marks the end of the summer. For parents with kids, they like it because the kids go off to school. The only good thing about Labor Day is you know Holiday's No. 1, 2 & 4 are right around the corner.