WHAT A GREAT 2008

This blogger has an amazing feature, the ability to look into the future and then blog about it. OK, anyway, instead of predicting what will happen in 2008, let's pretend this is being posted on Dec. 31, 2008 looking back at the year. You get the point.

Dec. 31, 2007 into Jan. 1, 2008 - In a bizarre start to the year, Dick Clark, without any writers to help him, forgets how to count down from 10 to 1, confusing the thousands in Times Square and Ryan Seacrest, who, without writers' help, doesn't know what year it is.

Jan. 3 - The Tonight Show with Jay Leno is cancelled after Leno, also with no writers, tries to do an entire hour-long show of dopey headlines and recycled Michael Jackson jokes. The strike is settled the next day, Leno returns, and then viewers of the Tonight Show go on strike until Leno is booted permanently.

Jan. 5 - Greg Schiano leads Rutgers to a close win in the International Bowl, but after the game he his pressed about rumors he in considering leaving RU to take the St. Louis Rams job. Schiano stays at RU, but only after the school announces plans for a $300 million, 150,000-seat stadium with a retractable roof.

Jan. 6 - Roger Clemens, trying to explain steroid accusations on 60 Minutes, lets it slip that he and Andy Pettitte were more than friends and that Yankee phenom Phil Hughes is actually their child. When asked about this, Pettitte says, "I only did it once."

Feb. 3 - There are mass suicides all over America, as football fans, faced with the dilema of seeing the Pats go 19-0 or the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl, decide to off themselves instead. It's later revealed that Jessica Simpson's halftime show is the reason for the unthinkable death toll. Those that don't take their own lives, actually do it the next day at work when some dopey co-worker starts talking about his favorite commericals from the game.

March 30 - With the season just days away, Omar Minaya finally breaks down, trading Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran and Mike Pelfrey to the Tigers for Kenny Rogers. Citi Field is burned to the ground the next day.

April 1 - After Appalachian State basketball team beats Florida in the NCAA tournament title game, the dopes on ESPN and every other sports network start clamoring for a playoff system in basketball, not realizing they already have one.

June 5 - The New Jersey Devils capture the Stanley Cup, but the celebration is ruined when ESPN's Barry Melrose is stabbed on a Newark street during the victory parade. The suspect is quickly arrested as the 10 fans who actually care about the Devils are the only ones to attend the parade.

July 27 - Bruce Springsteen opens a three-night stint at Giants Stadium, but when he utters his "Is There Anybody Alive Out There," line to start the show, he's stunned by thousands and thousands of empty seats. It is later determined that many folks forgot they even had tickets to the show since they bought them in December. It's also found out later that thousands of Springsteen nerds were hanging around Gate D, hoping to see a set of tits for the first time in their lives.

Sept. 9 - During his opening game with Bound Brook High, Penn State coach Joe Paterno collapses on the sideline. Greg Schiano, in attendance, jumps out of press box and immediately starts coaching the Nittany Lions, who win on a late field goal. Construction on the new Schiano Dome is immediately halted and is quickly changed into a 400-seat gym to host Rutgers mens and women's basketball games.

Sept. 12 - The New England Patriots' season gets off to a rocky start when it's revealved Tom Brady has impregnated every woman in New England.

Sept 22 - Jamie Lynn Spears gives birth to a bouncing baby boy. The next day, Kevin Federline, Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern file for custody of the tot.

Oct. 1 - Barry Bonds' head explodes, yet he is able to survive thanks to the second head that has grown out of his back.

Oct. 9 - Rudy Guiliani's push for president get a major boost when he promises voters that if he's elected president, he will convince David Chase to explain the Soprano's ending once and for all. The millions of Americans who are still obsessed with the show say they will vote for him. He looks like a clear winner.

Oct. 10 - David Chase reveals that the entire Soprano family was wiped out in the ending of the show, causing heartbreak all over the country, and Guiliani to give up his bid to be president.

Oct. 11 - James Gandolfini shows up at a campaign rally for Barak Obama, but nobody remembers who he is anymore. Obama drops out, too.

Nov. 5 - In perhaps the most stunning election result in the history of the world, the Sandman is elected president of the United States thanks to a few write-in votes by fans of his blog. As it turns out, the rest of America, faced with the choice of voting for Hillary Clinton or not voting at all, stays home.

Nov. 11 - Joe Pendleton posts his first blog of 2008.

Nov. 25 - Almost one year to the day he debuted on WABC radio, Don Imus collapses on the air. Help doesn't arrive for nearly three days since no one was listening when this happened.

Dec. 18 - Tom Coughlin is fired after the Giants lose their 10th straight to fall to 2-10. Greg Schiano threatens Penn State he will leave unless they build at 120,000-seat stadium. He's reminded that Beaver Stadium already holds 120,000 and that he is free to leave whenever he wants.

Wow, what a year that was. We'll recap 2007 in a few days.