Well, it's been more than a week since the much-anticipated trip to Fenway for Yanks-Sox. Here are some of the highlights.
-- Not to sound gay, but I do find taking long road trips with a couple of cats pretty fun. I mean, it's great. You get to do a lot of cursing and farting and other shit you would never get away with at home.
Speaking of cursing, halfway to Boston we got into a discussion what an underrated four-letter word the C-word is. I mean think about it, if you are having a bad day at work you - in this day & age, could get away with yelling fuck or shit and nobody would really give you a hard time. But yell something like "Cuntsucker" real loud and people will act as if you shot someone. That's what makes the C-word great, it's may be the only 4-letter word that really still offends people. I'm gonna try to work it more and more into my daily vocabulary.
Speaking of C's (see, I won't even type it in), those Red Sox fans in Boston are exactly that. Need some proof.
-- In the sixth inning of the game, I had to take a mean piss, so I headed for the men's room. Upon seeing the line into the "IN" door was quite long, I did want any self-respecting man would do, I headed right for the "OUT" door. About 10 feet from a nice-open urinal, some a-hole literally hips checks me and pins me up against a wall. So I say, "what's your problem", he says "go in the IN door like everyone else." I say "What, are you the fucking bathroom police?" and he says something like "It's not fair to everyone else." Now me, being the friendly drunk I am, so "you know what, you're right, I'll go to the IN door," and I proceed to follow this dude out of the bathroom. However, the second the dude is about 10 feet in front of me, I do a 360, go back through the OUT door, take a quick piss and head back to my seat.
Two lessons here: First of all, as much as I hate Yankee fans, they would never give me shit for going through the out door. Second of all, I used to wonder why people would ever start fights at a baseball game, but now I know. There are people out there who are just huge cunts.
As for the rest of the game, most of the people at Fenway didn't really give a shit about the game. I think the Sox title in 2004 took all the venom out of the diehards, and, at the same time, prompted all the bandwagoners to scoop up the tix. The most upset I saw the sox fans get was when one of the guys I was with, at about 10:10, annouced to the crowd that Taylor Hicks had won American Idol. You gotta figure most of the a-holes in the crowd were Tivoing the show at home. It was great to ruin their little reality show night.
And then, after the game, some dame (I don't want to overuse the C-word), was busting my balls because I was from New Jersey. She then told me she was from New Hampshire, and I nearly went ballistic, saying how could you rip NJ when you a from a state that's only famous for some bogus primary ever 4 years. What a C%%#.
Now to hockey. Let me say this, the Whale is alive and well in New England. I wore my Whale
jersey to the Sox game, and got literally dozens of comments. And then, when Manny Ramirez took Scott Proctor over the Monsta, they played Brass Bonanza at Fenway. I thought I was in heaven.
Great win for the Whale last night. I'm gonna say Whale in 6, but could be 7. This Rod Brind'amour could become the ugliest man ever to win the Stanley Cup.
As for the beer count, it skyrocketed since the start of the Fenway trip last week.My estimates are about 18 beers in Boston last Wednesday. Nothing Thursday. On Friday, I'll say about 10. About 5 on Saturday at home. About 8 on Sunday at Monmouth Park, and about 10 on Monday at my buddy's hut.
So that's 51 for the weekend. I think the count coming in was about 120, so let's call the beer count 171 right now.
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6 comments:
Tremendous work.
Why do a-holes lurk in the restrooms of sporting facilities?
I was probably too loaded/stoned to recall this tale when it happened at our Browns-Rams tilt a few years ago, but I also had a confrontation, albeit a more minor one than yours.
In my haze, I waited on a long line for an open urinal.
Many people had also been using a four-foot high cardboard box that functioned as the area's wastebasket for pissing.
By the time it was my turn in line, the cardboard box was filled approximately 3.5 feet high with urine. The pee had also begun seeping through the walls, and even in my state, I could tell the flimsy, soaked cardboard was on the brink of collapse.
When I was in the on-deck circle, it figures the first spot to open up was the one at the cardboard recepticle.
I passed. The guy behind me nudged me toward it, and I told him I was waiting for a urinal, then said "go ahead."
He gave me a look like I was an a-hole or something, went over to use the cardboard. It didn't collapse on him, but I just remember thinking it was absurd that I should have to justify my choice in recepticle to some stranger in the men's room.
Later on, a $20 pizza would alleviate any residual anger.
If I'm not mistaken, the Browns play at St. Louis this season. Thoughts?
I would love to hit that Browns-Rams tilt, but the travel budget is going to be shot on an excursion to Denver in early November.
I disagree with your note about New Hampshire being most known about it's primary.
Over the past few months, I believe it has more of a connection with Johnny Cakes and men cavorting with other men with leather jackets and bikes.
I wonder if the Blue Oyster is up there as well.
Todd: Please tell me you misused it's just to be funny.
Oh, and I still use the C word whenever necessary. I've used it no less than three times in the last two days, all related to my fellow motorists. A great word.
Good pernt, Joe.
I forgot I'll probably have a shortage of bills around that time as well.
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