Sunday, May 21, 2006
SWANK AND A MISS
It's late Sunday night and I'm emotionally and physically exhausted from this weekend.
Believe it or not, I'm drinking just my third beer since last Friday's shenanigans, but am gearing up for a taste-filled trip Wednesday to Fenway.
Anyway, this weekend I did schtick with a two-time Academy Award winner, was shown on Ch. 7 News and even played the role of a bartender. Here's a breakdown of the weekend.
Head to Shea Stadium Friday for a wild Mets-Yankees game. On the 7 train platform in Times Square, who do I spot but none other than the million dollar baby herself, Hillary Swank. Now, Mrs. Pendleton gets mad because I have a habit of saying someone is a celebrity, but it's really just someone who looks like that celebrity, but I knew immediately it was her.
I sat next to the dude she was with on the Subway, and after arriving at Shea and seeing that she busted out a Mets hat, I figured it was time to do some schtick. Here's how the conversation went:
JP: "I'm a big fan of yours, and I don't want you to think I'm stalking you."
HS: (Uncomfortable smile)
JP: "It's nice to see you are a Mets fan
HS: (A little more comfortable smile)
JP: "I mean, most people from Hollywood are fake Yankee fans."
HS: "WHAT?"
JP: "Seriously, they say they are Yankee fans because it's the cool thing to do."
HS: "Well, how do you know I'm not a fake Mets fan."
JP: "Good point. Well, they need all they help they can get, so it doesn't matter."
HS: Laughs.
JP: "Well, enjoy the game.
HS: "You too."
If it wasn't 7:05 at this point and I couldn't see the Mets taking the field while I was still on the subway platform, I would've done a little more schtick, but it was game time.
Once inside Shea, I have to say it was one of the wildest games I ever saw. And it's not everyday you see a Randy Johnson meltdown, an A-Rod error and Mariano blow it in the same game. It was sweet. Also, the dude I was with has a friend who is a ch. 11 cameraman, so the two of us were shown a few times during the game and they even showed us going crazy after the MEts won - a shot that was repeated on ch. 7 news.
Of course, the euphporia of Friday night was immediately wiped out by the crap that went down Saturday afternoon, but Sunday's Met win made it a nice weekend.
As for the bartender gig, as part of a charity event, I worked in a concession stand Saturday night at the Somerset Patriots (unaffiliated Atlantic League bs baseball) game. I was the beer dude/cashier. Let me tell you, that is friggin hard work. I now know why the normal people take their sweet time. It's because A: They don't give a shit and B: The slower they go, the better the odds of people leaving their line and going somewhere else. It really is hard work. It was fun do to it one night, but if I had to make a living doing it, I would shoot myself.
The highlight of the game is the team the Patriots were playing had a dude named Gary Johnson on the team. Of course, that's the name of the main character in Team America World Police, and everytime that dude was introduced I started laughing my ass off.
One last thing, I was watching Fargo on BRAVO Saturday night and those bastards actually cut a lot of the scene between Marge and Mike Yamagida. They cut his whole "I'm so lonely" shctick. I was pissed.
Anyway, that's old Joe's weekend. I'm now going to pop in Season 5 of 90210 - when Swank played the married mom dating Steve Sanders - and pleasure myself.
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6 comments:
Good call on the 90210 reference. Most people forget she was on that show for a season before being fired.
Also, check out Carrie-Ann Moss, who played Trinity in the Matrix trilogy in the short-lived 1994 Melrose Place spinoff, "Models Inc."
Now that was a show that spiked the sale of Jergins hand cream and Kleenex, everywhere.
They probably fired Swank because they realized should could actually act.
Speaking of 90210, I will present a special ode to Tiffany Amber-Theissen and all things Saved By the Bell in a few weeks. Could be my most important post yet.
Nice job getting on channel 11, Joe. I think that's the most excitement that network has had since the Yule Log XMas 1984.
Don't forget the Jerry Lewis telethon. Oh wait, that's Ch. 9.
Speaking of Fargo, it should be noted that about a month ago, some dude in Loveland, Co. fell into the wood chipper a la Fargo.
The authorities believe part of his jacket snagged, and about a nanosecond later, it was all over.
Joe, did you see John Rocker on that 7 train?
You handled that Hillary Swank meeting like Matsui handled ground balls last yr. Although, it was ok. Good for you.
When Wright hit that ball over Damon's head I thought my head was going to explode with excitement. To beat Mariano was the ultimate! I actually met Wright in the minors after a game and he was very acommodating and friendly with no attitude that you sometimes see (Pulsipher). David Wright is a geniunely nice guy and I love that he's doing well.
ps love the El Duque pickup!!
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