BACK IN BLACK

To celebrate the 10-year anniversary of fishingnotcatching.blogspot.com, we've changed the look a little bit. I hope you like it.

A few things:

I just stopped at my local Quick Chek to pick up some milk. On my way out, these two skanky broads were arguing about something or other. As one of the dames walked away, the other dame - with me standing about 3 feet from her - yells at the top of her lungs "I'M THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS TOWN WHO DIDN'T GET LAID TONIGHT AND I'M FUCKING HORNY."

After hearing this, I quickly realized I had three options.
1. Make some sort of wisecrack about how it's quite understandable no dude would ever consider slipping her the bone.

2. Offer her a spot in my backseat to make sure everyone in town has gotten some.

3. Get in my car, lock the doors and get the fuck out of there.

Of course, I chose 2 (just kidding). I really wanted to go with No. 1, never considered No. 2, but chose door No. 3 and got the fuck out of there.

As I sit here typing this, I realize that I've been wrong all my life.

You see, I've always lived with the belief that any dame (hot or ugly, fat or smelly) could have sex whenever she wanted. For every ugly dame out there, there is an even hornier, more shamless dude. But seeing that this dame, who clearly had no reservations proclaiming not only her horniness, but her absolute desire to act on it, couldn't get any standing in front of a convenience store at 3 a.m., I realized that premise was incorrect.

You learn something new everyday.

Onto the next subject: Thinking about my beer count this week and targeting specific high-volume dates, I realized May could drive the count well over 150 (it's about 98 right now).

Here are the dates:
Today, May 3: I'm off from work and am planning a nice night in front of the TV watching Mets-Pirates and then Flames-Ducks. Predicited amount: 6 tastes.

Saturday, May 6: Going to a first communion party during the day, hockey playoffs at night. Predicted amount: 10 tastes.

Skip ahead to Weds, May 25: Me and three friends are heading to Fenway for Yankees-red Sox. We plan on arriving in Beantown around 1:30 p.m. for the 7 p.m. start and head back to Jersey on Thursday morning. 1 t hing to remember, our hotel is within walking distance of the Fens. (Predicited amount: 25 tastes: Figure about 10-12 before the game, 2-3 during the game, 8 postgame).

Friday, May 27: The National Holiday known as Saw Mill Day. Back in the day, me and two friends would head down the Saw Mill on the wonderful Seaside Heights boardwalk and drink Mickey Big Mouths all day to kick off Memorial Day Weekend. Now, it's a few friends in my backyard playing Wiffle ball for a few hours and drinking (Predicted amount: 10 beers).

Sunday, May 29: My wife's brother's brother in law rents one of those picnic boxes at Monmouth Park and provides us with free food and tastes all day (Predicted amount: 10 beers)

Monday, May 30: Memorial Day. My kids enjoy heading to lovely Somerville New Jersey for a bike racing event called the Tour of Somerville. I believe you can drink in public this day, but I will keep the count down since I have to return to work on Tuesday (Predicted amount: 4 beers).

So that's about 65 and that's not including random tastes with the neighbors on the weekends. I'll keep everyone posted.

again, I hope you like the new look and go Whalers.