THE CHRONICLES OF PENDLETON: THE JAGR, THE STRIPPER AND THE JACKET

It finally dawned on me why the New York Rangers haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1994.
No, it has nothing to do with Garden mismanagement, Bryan Trottier and Glen Sather, rather it has everything to with a satin jacket, a once-exhuberant 29-year-old man and an anonymous stripper from Sayreville.

Intrigued? Good.

Here's the story: Way back in December of 1994, Joe Pendleton (the 29-year-old at the time still basking in the Stanley Cup win 6 months earlier) and cronies from a now-defunct NJ newspaper went to Bourbon Street in Sayreville for a little celebration. Pendleton, who was just turning 29 and was full of Ranger pride, wore his Starter blue satin Ranger jacket to the fine establishment.

After a few tastes and a few dollar bills were "dipped" a certain "very vocal" friend of Mr. Pendleton got the idea that the ideal birthday present would be the "entertainer" at the establishment wearing the Ranger jacket on stage. It sounded good to old Joe.

So the friend called the girl over, "whispered" in her ear and before Joe knew it, the jacket was off his back and flying toward the stage. Now, back in the old days at the girls liked to bend the "non-topless rules" a bit. This one, however, decided every dress code rule would be broken this evening.

Seconds after the jacket hit the stage, the dancer was wearing it - and nothing else. Needless to say, even Devil fans in the place celebrated this move. Dollar bills flew like tickertape in the canyon of heroes.

Soon after the jacket was returned and Pendleton headed to his Franklin Twp. apartment. However, as he got closer to home, Mr. Pendleton realized that his jacket had the distict powdery smell every classy dancer in NJ seems to possess. So Pendleton, fearing the wrath of Mrs. Pendleton, secretly put the jacket in the back of his closet and never brought it out again.

A few years later, the Pendletons would move, and the jacket made the move, too, but - amazingly - still featuring a hint of the smell, the jacket was once again relegated to the back of the closet. Coincidentally or not, since the Jacket has been hidden away, the Rangers have gone completely cupless.

Fast forward to today (April 17, 2006). Joe Pendleton, while doing some spring cleaning in his closet, finds the jacket, and, in an attempt to change the struggling Blueshirts' fortunes, moves it to a more prominent spot in the closet. He's ever considering wearing the throwback jacket Friday night, when the Atlantic-Division champion Rangers take on the Flyers or Devils. Needless to say, with the jacket back in circulation, the Cup will once again be delivered to Madison Square Garden.

Now, if he can only get the BO stains that were put on his Met jacket in Nov. of 1986 by some smelly whore in Newark, maybe Shea Stadium will rock again.

LET'S GO RANGERS