Wednesday, February 01, 2006

FAVRE AND (HOPEFULLY) AWAY

Ok, I know this post will anger a certain fan of fishingnotcatching, but I have to get this off my chest. It's been brewing for a few years, and I finally have a forum, and, believe it or not, it's timely.

Much has been made this week on ESPN about an interview with a certain overrated QB, who says he may be leaning toward retirement. His name, of course, if Brett Favre.

This is about the 4th straight offseason where this cat has hemmed and hawed about retiring or not. Well, I have two statements/questions regarding this annual soap opera.

1. WHO REALLY CARES
Besides people who have nothing better to do than put cheese on their head and clog their arteries with bratwurst and cheddar 24/7, nobody gives a crap about this dude - expect Jersey girl - of course.
I mean, honestly, what makes this guy so special? OK, he won ONE Super Bowl (so has Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson). He lost a Super Bowl his team had no right losing (so did Kurt Warner). He played 30 seconds after his dad died. He was in a Farrely brothers movie (so was Roger Clemens, Cam Neely and Ron Darling).
Besides that, what has he done? OK, he's put up some good passing numbers, but in reality, he's won ONE big game in his career. Let's not forget all the dogs he's put up. Remember the 6 INTs against the Rams in a playoff game. SIX. Remember the home playoff loss - at night - to Ron Mexico and crew. Basically, his dopey, hick act makes him lovable to the dopes in middle america who voted for 'W'. And that's it. This year, when he didn't have a championship team around him, he sh-t the bed all season.

2. PLEASE GO AWAY.
Honestly, Brett. If you actually decide to retire the NFL will go on without you. I mean, John Elway and Joe Montana - guys who have won more than 1 big game in their lives - have left, and I believe the NFL is still in business. The Packers will be OK. I mean, if they can go 5-11 with you, they can go 5-11 without you. And don't worry, the dopes in Northern Wisconsin will still go to Lambeau on Sunday even if you're home in Mississippi spitting tobaci. Please, for all of us, Brett, just go away. And please, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE, don't go into the broadcast booth. Dandy Don's act was funny 30 years ago. It won't work now.

7 comments:

jersey girl said...

You're dead to me.

Todd Cohen said...

Screw the rant about Favre....what's the beer count at, cat?

Joependleton said...

The truth hurts Jersey Girl. Maybe I'm cranky since the beer count is still at 12.

Pete said...

That kid threw four interceptions in a single game against the lowly Cleveland Browns.

Twice.

That's all you need to know.

I love when Madden or any of the other Favre apologists start talking about how he's a "gambler." When extolling his virtues, they always then forget to discuss all the times the kid folds his cards.

Joependleton said...

Dude, I'm completely with you. Now I'm not saying he sucks or anything like that, but this talk that he's the greatest QB of our time is complete bull. He had the best team in the league - along with the best homefield advantage in the league - for about 3-4 years and won 1 - ONE - Super Bowl, and that was thanks - sorry Jerseygirl again - the a punt return from a great U of Michigan player.

Jesse Spector said...

I agree with what you say about Favre's merits as a QB, but the one thing about him that I like is that he's one of the most fun to watch players in the game. Maybe Jake Plummer is ready to take over the throne, but I can't think of a guy who is more capable of brilliant or horrific on any given play. He turns shite into gold and gold into shite on a regular basis. I think that's why you often hear that you should never bet heavily with or against the dude.

Pete said...

I don't think a comparison can be made between Plummer and Favre. As overrated as I believe Favre is, he at least has some redeeming qualities.

Jake has none.

He's never capable of turning a bad situation into a good one. That's why the Broncos toned his tired act down this year.

They stripped him of all those things that used to make him "exciting" and turned him into a bland short-route passer.

The most exciting thing Jake the Fake does now is occasionally pull the ball down and scramble for a first down.

Think about it like this: John F. Kennedy may be vastly overrated as a leader. But he still had some redeeming qualities.

To paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen in his skewering of Dan Quayle, "I knew Brett Favre. And Jesse, Jake Plummer's no Bretty Favre."