AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BASEBALL GODS:

Dear Gods:

I know this is very busy time of the year for you, with the playoffs starting next week and the pennant races being decided this week, but I just ask for a few minutes of your time to hear me out.

Now you know I've been a very big supporter of your sport. In addition to spending countless dollars on tickets and merchandise over the years, I've also made your sport my top priority throughout my life.

Whenever I'm out at a party or a restaurant, I slip away whenever I can to catch the score. In 1995, while at my friend's wedding, I snuck out into the parking lot to listen to the last inning of the Braves-Indians Game 6. Last year, after getting a precious ticket to the Penn State-Michigan football game from a friend, I sat in the crowd, walkman in my ear, listening to Steve Trachsel quit on an entire city. You also know, on the rare occassion Mrs. Pendleton actually tries to initiate sex, I will stall her until the game is over. When I scored Springsteen tickets for Oct. 6 in Philly, my first thought turned to a potential conflict with a Met playoff game.

Hell, I even named my kid after one of your stadiums - one of your shittier stadiums, too.

Let's face it, baseball is my life. The Mets are my life, a life, that for the most part has been miserable.

Sure, you gave me some great years from 1984-1989, but really, you only gave me one title. Now, I know most franchises don't get any titles, so I appreciate what you did in 1986, but the way I see it, the Mets won that year by a process of elimination. You guys had it all set up to break our hearts once again, but when push came to shove, you couldn't let the Red Sox, or the Astros win. The Mets won by default.

In 1988, you ripped our hearts out and until you gave us Mike Piazza, you made the Mets irrelevant. 2000? Sure, you let us get to the World Series, but you put us right back in our place by having the Yankees spank us in 5. (Thanks for the Game 1 tease, by the way). And last year, well, last year couldn't have been more heartbreaking. Again, you gave us some nice foreplay in the Endy Chavez catch and a Yankee elimination in the first round, but when all Mets fans were about to shoot our loads, you turned on the light, zipped up your pants and sent us home horny.

All of that, however, is nothing compared to what you are doing to me and all Mets fans this year. If you planned all along for us not to make the playoffs, you should've done it the fair way. You know, a season-ending injury to David Wright in June would've been fine, or having the Phillies run away with the division from Day 1 would've been just. But no, you had to suck us in to thinking we were the team to beat, and now, in the waning days of the season, you are going to break our hearts again.

Now, I know me and all Mets fans aren't completely innocent in this. Not only did we start thinking about a World Series title in May, we also starting talking smack regarding the demise of the Yankees. We all knew better, but we couldn't help oursevles. Well, with four games left in the seasons, you've made your point. We realize our mistake.

I, like all Mets fans, know deep down the Yankees are the greatest franchise in baseball and all of sports. I know the playoffs wouldn't be the same without them. I know, whether it's the Babe Ruth trade, or the Bucky Dent HR or this Joba Chamberlain coming out of nowhere, most of you are Yankee fans. I get it. I really do. I bow to the wild-card winning Yankees.

So, please, I ask you, can you just give our Mets a little break? Could you give Pedro Martinez a litttle something extra tonight? Could you give Billy Mota just one call on the outside corner. Could you let one of Jose Reyes' pop flys fall in? Could you just once, let Carlos Delgado's bat actually hit the ball? Could you give William Wagner a set of nuts, for just one weekend? I mean, do you really want the Phillies or the Rockies in the playoffs? The last time the Phillies made it, they let a team from Canada - CANADA - win the Series. Think about it.

Finally - and this is not a threat, rather a fact of life - I will tell you should the Mets not make the playoffs this year, I'm done with you and your game. Yes, I will always follow the Mets, but the days of going out of my way to watch them or check on a score will be over. The days of blowing off my kids to watch a day game in June against the Diamondbacks will be done. I will listen to music on the radio, I will sleep at night, I will have sex with my wife win or lose. I will, well, get my life back. But I'd much rather have a playoff spot. It's up to you.

Thanks again for listening. And remember, Let's Go Mets.

Sincerely, Joe Pendleton.


P.S.: If you get a chance, see what the NFL gods can do about the Rams.

P.S.S: If the Mets don't make it, do your best to remind everyone that on a July 16 blog entry by me, I said the Mets wouldn't make the playoffs.