WHAT A MAROON

Most people that know me would say that I - when not drunk - am a pretty nice guy. I'm rarely rude (again, while not drunk), and I'm not confrontational. Sure, when loaded I tend to stir it up and harp on things (like a "Yankee fan" not knowing Babe Ruth's No. 1 or arguing that Fletch is not the funniest movie of all time), but when sober, I'm pretty low key.

Well, after two incidents this week, I say No More Mr. Nice Guy.

The first:
While picking up a cable box at my local provider Monday, I was just finishing up with the dame behind the counter and I said "have a good day." She quickly responded, "You have a better one." At first I was impressed with her snappy retort, but as I headed for the door, I realized that she was ripping me in one of two ways.

She was either taking a shot at my hollow, standard "Have a nice day," by hitting me with an umcommon response, or - and I think this is it - she was ripping me for only wishing her a good day. As if what I wished her wasn't good enough, and she therefore had to wish me a better day than the one I wished her. I felt like walking back to the desk and saying "I hope you have a shitty day," but I didn't care that much. Until...

Fans of FNC know all about the Pendleton fridge situation, well, the repairman - after several unreturned calls to him by me and a call to the store manager where I bought my extended warranty - finally showed up at my hut this morning to put a new compressor in there. Well, he was in my house about 90 minutes working pretty hard, so my "should I tip him" alarm starting going off. After consulting with Mrs. Pendleton, I decided to slip the cat a 10 spot on the way out the door. And, feeling some gratitude that the dude fixed my fridge, I hooked him as he walked about my front door.

Well, I go back in my house and see that he left a medium-sized, yet heavy box behind. I pick it up, lug it to the front door and say to him, "I think you left this here." He says "that's just garbage," gets in his car and drives away. What it was was the old compressor, which I now have to deal with. Had young Kurt Price not been in the house alone, I might've handed the box to the dude and demanded my 10 beans back. However, with the shitty way fridges are being made these days, I may need the dude back in a few years, so I let it go. But this day I swear no more Mr. Nice Guy. No holding the door for dames at the mall or at work - unless they are hot, no more letting people cut in front of me in traffic, no more covering my mouth when I sneeze.

-- Well, everyone with a keyboard has weighed in on the Sopranos finale, so I will, too. But with a totally different take. While I was first appalled that they would chose Journey to end the show, I was convinced by Sandman and Jerseygirl it was a good choice.

But it started me thinking, when there's a TV show 20 years from now, what song from this day and age would it chose to end it? And then I realized, there's not one song from this day and age that will stand the test of time that Don't Stop Believing did, or 1,000,000 other songs from the 60s', 70's and 80's would've. Honestly, ask yourself, have there been any popular rock songs (not some album cuts ) I mean real rock songs, or even popish rock songs that will be listened to 20 years from now. I can't think of any. Honestly.

I know the music biz has changed with FM radio becoming a medium with a future worse than that of newspapers, and with I-pods and I-tunes and all that crap, but really, have you heard a song that you can say will stand the test of time?

A lot of this stems from a few weeks back, when my neighbor was blaring his I-pod which featured "current hits" from Maroon 5 and Jim Blunt. I know they are huge acts, but if you ask me, you have to grow a vagina before listening to that stuff. I seriously wonder what my kids will be playing for their kids in 20 years. Honestly, I think stuff like Journey and Bruce and Zeppelin from 20-30 years ago has a better shot than the shit being churned out today. Honestly.

--- Quick stat: The Mets are 1-8 and the Yanks are 8-1 since Localschill got married. Thanks LC for throwing the earth of its axis.

-- Finally, plans of a low summer beer count have already been and will continue to be sabotaged by several different factors. First of all, after taking my kids to the local pool Friday, I decided I needed a taste to take the edge off. Only a broken fridge kept me from getting bombed, as I only had three in the emergeny cooler. Saturday, I wasn't planning on drinking, as I had to work a game booth at the local church fair. Well, after dealing with pimple-faced teens spending countless dollars trying hard to win their slutty girlfriends stuffed animals worth about 30 cents, I needed a few, and headed to the local bar afterward with my brother. I had 5 at the bar and one when I got home. Finally, Monday night, I got to test out my new backyard furniture, and wouldn't you know it, my neighbor of the shitty music and a fridge full of beer in his garage shows up with a few. I only had three, so the beer count stands at 12 after one week.

The other factors that will hurt the beer count:
-- The emergency fridge I bought on Saturday has now been moved to the garage, where it's sole purpose will be to keep tastes on hand and nearby.

-- We are having a big family party in LBI in early July and the family throwing it, well, they enjoy tastes and meriment almost as much as I do. Need proof? My one cousin who will be there, at my wedding, took the disposable camera every table was equipped with into the can where he took a nice shot of package. Needless to say, when I was looking at all the photos with my new bride and mother-in-law, we got a nice shock.

-- I have no self-control, especially when it comes to tastes.

-- The shitty play of the Mets would drive anyone to drink.

-- The kids are out of school starting next week. Beer count could be in the hundreds by end of June.

Sorry about the long post, had a lot to say. I mean, if you don't like, go fuck yourself.

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