First of all the beer count is at 5. Now, before you rip me for bagging on the no-beer-until-St. Paddy's-day deal early, let me explain.I went to my friend's hut Saturday night to watch Saints-Eagles. He is a Saints fan and had plenty of New Orleans beer. Also, he is my usual drinking buddy on March 17, but he won't be around, so I figured what the hell. Still, only five for me during the course of a 3-hour football game is pretty good.
Speaking of beer, I got Artie Lang's Beer League from Netflix last night, and let me tell you, it could be the worst movie I ever saw. It's so bad, it's not even funny. Now, some 
movies suck, but they are funny. This movie sucks. Saving Private Ryan was funnier. I cringed several times throughout the film, it's that bad. I like Artie on the Stern show, but this movie blew. BLEW.
movies suck, but they are funny. This movie sucks. Saving Private Ryan was funnier. I cringed several times throughout the film, it's that bad. I like Artie on the Stern show, but this movie blew. BLEW.Beer League was my second movie this week. On Monday, I took the Pendleton children to their second viewing of "Night at the Museum." It's not a great flick, but it doesn't suck either. \
Any flick that can keep the attention of the 3-year old boy for 90 minutes is pretty good. Maybe he was staring at Carla Gugino's rack like I was. However, the real highlight on the movie was for once, I got to play the part of the annoying guy behind you at the movies, and let me tell you, it was quite refreshing.
First of all, due to insane lines and some slow assed teens working the snack stand, we got into the movie about 10 minutes late. Having already seen it, we didn't miss anything important, but since it was a Holiday monday, there weren't too many seats. We finally found three about 4 rows from the screen. We quietly sat down, but I noticed the dame in front of me had long hair and it was laying over the back of the seat - hence in my personal movie space.
Anyway, we quietly sat down, took off our coats and I handed some popcorn and raisinettes to both kids. As I rustled the popcorn bag, this broad did the head half-turn, as if to see what was going on behind her. As I rustled the raisinettes bag, she did it again. It's a move I've done plenty of times, but to be on the recieving end, let me tell you, all it did was encourage me to make more noise since I knew i was clearly getting under this dame's skin. So, everytime I went to the popcorn or candy, I made sure the be extra noisy. I would say, through the course of the movie, she did about 6-7 half turns. At one point, I wanted to lean forward and say "Could you stop moving your head, it's distracting."
Now, before you rip me, two things in my defense.
1. It's a 1:40 showing of a kids' movie on a day when schools are off. What the fuck did she expect, complete silence. You gotta know you are walking into kid hell. Deal with it.
2. It was Night at the Museum. Was my popcorn rustling really distracting her from the intense dialog between Ben Stiller and a T-Rex? Give me a fucking break.
See what happens when I keep the drinking to a minimum.
Finally, you heard it here first. Sunday's Colts-Pats game will come down to Adam Vinatieri, and, as if to prove the Colts are forever doomed and that Tom Brady's pact with Satan has a few more years left on it, Mr. Automatic will miss.
Coming up on FNC: The much anticipated most overrated bands list and my tribute to my new TV dream girl Eva La Rue.
2 comments:
Cat,
When I think of movies that were bad, but good, Super Troopers immediately comes to mind.
The first time I saw it, I thought it was stupid. The second time, I didn't mind it so much. By the fifth time, I was laughing my arse off.
Movie theaters: I recently had a trip to one that resulted in great personal injury.
In the middle of the film, I left to use the restroom. I was walking back into the theater at a walking-yet-urgent pace. I didn't want to miss the movie.
The entrance to the particular screening was a set of two double-doors.
Inexplicably, I walked through the first one, then hung a left.
I guess I thought it was one of those entrances that looped around to the side of the theater area.
Alas, the hallway went straight. I went left.
At a brisk pace, I plowed straight into a wall, then bounced off like a ping-pong ball. I am not lying or exaggerating when I say I have never been hit so hard in my life.
Not in football or anything.
I must have caught it at just the right angle, because I was knocked over and seeing stars. It felt like someone cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my skull.
It took me about two minutes to get off the floor and I took the chance of making it back to my seat OK. I made it.
Woozy, I settled in and Mrs. VFR turned to me and said, 'Did you hear that noise when you were out there?' Apparently, the entire audience heard the sound of my skull colliding with the wall.
It was at this point my face started swelling up and bleeding profusely. A chilled cup of Pepsi was all that saved me from completely looking like a cartoon character.
The bleeding continued and Mrs. VFR wanted to leave, but I insisted on sticking it out.
This was only about a week into the new gig, so I had pretty big dent and subsequent scar on my face for the first couple days on the job, leaving all my new co-workers to conclude that the wife beats me.
Cat, I know how you feel. When I was a senior in HS, I was walking down the hallway, when some a-hole can flying out of a doorway and I got drilled by the door in the forehead, nose, nuts and knee - all at the same time.
As for the movie. I honestly can't see me ever watching that film again. It was that bad.
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