PITCH THIS

While doing a recent search for some What's Happening trivia, I stumbled onto this new blog. It's from some grizzly old-timer who worked on 60s and 70s sitcoms. It's some good stuff. It's called www.thebadpitch.blogspot.com

If you get a chance, check it out.

By the way, sorry I haven't blogged lately, but I've been busy watching TV and playing PS2 with the Pendleton kids.

A few notes real quick.

-- It's amazing how "great" Tom Brady is when he doesn't have take to his team 30 yards in a tied game to kick a field goal. Sorry, I'm still bitter from the Rams-Pats Super Bowl.

-- Beer count still at 5, but some serious threats exist before the March 17 deadline. The biggest one is a family friend from Ireland will be arriving on March 11 and staying in the NYC area until the 26th. While I may make the 17th deadline, the beer count could be in triple digits by the 26th.

-- Gotta say I'm totally not interested in college hoops this year, call it the Schiano hangover. I mean, after being so close to the team that finished 3rd in one of the worst conferences in the country, how can I get fired up for college hoops. I think this may be the year I stay out the office pool and see if I even give two craps about March Madness.

-- Congrats to Willie Randolph and his new extension. Imagine how much he would've gotten if he hadn't botched the bottom of the 9th in Game 7 of the NLCS. A quick review, the Mets, down 2 runs in a game they had to have, have first and second with no outs with the pitcher's spot coming up. Instead of doing what any manager in his right mind would do (bunting the runners over with Jose Reyes and Paul LoDuca - the team's best singles hitters - coming up), he sends up a hobbling Cliff Floyd. The best case-scenario is a 3-run homer, which everyone in the park knew wasn't going to happen since old Cliff could barely stand. There's a shot of a double, but again, Cliff can't hit and walk. As it turns out, Cliff whiffed, which was a good thing for most Mets fans who were expecting an easy DP. That puts Reyes up in a position where he has to drive the ball, instead of just getting a hit. He drove the ball, but James Edmonds made a nice play. Then came LoDuca, who instead of being in a situation where a hit ties the game, he's now in a spot where he's just gotta get on base. He does, working out a walk. Which brings up old bat-on-his shoulders Beltran. I heard Randolph say on the fan this week that the inning worked out perfectly, since he had Beltran up with the bases loaded. First, he didn't mention it was with two outs and two, if you ask me, a better situation is second and third, one out, and Reyes at the dish. Or man on third, two outs and LoDuca up. Anyway, I like what Randolph has done in changing the ARt Howish attitude on the Mets, but I just have a feeeling this guy will botch any big spot we get put in.

-- SOrry for the rant. I got wound up.

-- Anyway, top 10 overrated bands list is losing steam. I started it, and realized it was going nowhere. So, you may or may not see it soon.

-- In it's place, you will soon get the 10 hottest babes on TV shows I watch and have watched in the course of my life.

A DAY AT THE MOVIES

First of all the beer count is at 5. Now, before you rip me for bagging on the no-beer-until-St. Paddy's-day deal early, let me explain.

I went to my friend's hut Saturday night to watch Saints-Eagles. He is a Saints fan and had plenty of New Orleans beer. Also, he is my usual drinking buddy on March 17, but he won't be around, so I figured what the hell. Still, only five for me during the course of a 3-hour football game is pretty good.

Speaking of beer, I got Artie Lang's Beer League from Netflix last night, and let me tell you, it could be the worst movie I ever saw. It's so bad, it's not even funny. Now, some movies suck, but they are funny. This movie sucks. Saving Private Ryan was funnier. I cringed several times throughout the film, it's that bad. I like Artie on the Stern show, but this movie blew. BLEW.

Beer League was my second movie this week. On Monday, I took the Pendleton children to their second viewing of "Night at the Museum." It's not a great flick, but it doesn't suck either. \

Any flick that can keep the attention of the 3-year old boy for 90 minutes is pretty good. Maybe he was staring at Carla Gugino's rack like I was. However, the real highlight on the movie was for once, I got to play the part of the annoying guy behind you at the movies, and let me tell you, it was quite refreshing.

First of all, due to insane lines and some slow assed teens working the snack stand, we got into the movie about 10 minutes late. Having already seen it, we didn't miss anything important, but since it was a Holiday monday, there weren't too many seats. We finally found three about 4 rows from the screen. We quietly sat down, but I noticed the dame in front of me had long hair and it was laying over the back of the seat - hence in my personal movie space.

Anyway, we quietly sat down, took off our coats and I handed some popcorn and raisinettes to both kids. As I rustled the popcorn bag, this broad did the head half-turn, as if to see what was going on behind her. As I rustled the raisinettes bag, she did it again. It's a move I've done plenty of times, but to be on the recieving end, let me tell you, all it did was encourage me to make more noise since I knew i was clearly getting under this dame's skin. So, everytime I went to the popcorn or candy, I made sure the be extra noisy. I would say, through the course of the movie, she did about 6-7 half turns. At one point, I wanted to lean forward and say "Could you stop moving your head, it's distracting."

Now, before you rip me, two things in my defense.

1. It's a 1:40 showing of a kids' movie on a day when schools are off. What the fuck did she expect, complete silence. You gotta know you are walking into kid hell. Deal with it.

2. It was Night at the Museum. Was my popcorn rustling really distracting her from the intense dialog between Ben Stiller and a T-Rex? Give me a fucking break.

See what happens when I keep the drinking to a minimum.

Finally, you heard it here first. Sunday's Colts-Pats game will come down to Adam Vinatieri, and, as if to prove the Colts are forever doomed and that Tom Brady's pact with Satan has a few more years left on it, Mr. Automatic will miss.

Coming up on FNC: The much anticipated most overrated bands list and my tribute to my new TV dream girl Eva La Rue.

WHAT A YEAR 2007 WAS

Now, this is not a misprint, rather - thanks to the FNC time machine - this is the year end post for 2007. Now, I can't tell you everthing that happened in 07, like lottery numbers and crap like that, but this is stuff I remember happening. Anway, let's review the top 10 events of 2007 in no particular order.

She Did It Again - Britney Spears, thanks to more panty-less partying, losses custody of her children to K-Fed, who, in an attempt to make cash and some headlines, auctions off the children. The auction gets ugly, but Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt barely beat out Madona for the young Fed kids.

Stench - For the second time in less than four months, an awful odor emenates all over New York City. Officials, after plenty of tests, determine it's not a natural gas leak, rather the play of Alex Rodriguez.

Rudy - Rudy Guiliani drops his presidential bid when, during a debate he rips Barack Obama for a highly anti-semitic film and the 9/11 attacks. When's he's reminded the film was called Borat and that Osama Bin Laden was responsible for 9/11, he quits the race and goes on a multi-million dollar lecture circuit about the difference between Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden.

RU Crazy - In perhaps the most shocking event of the year, Rutgers football coach Greg Schiano is appointed Governor of New Jersey after leading the Knights to a second-place finish in the Big East. During his swearing in, word comes down the Joe Paterno is leaving Penn State and Schiano hands the state over to Fred Hill Jr. and immediately heads to Happy Valley.

Not yet - Fishing Not Catching's 10 Most Overrated Bands list doesn't get posted until the middle of January. The four fans of the site are upset.

Saints Alive - The New Orleans Saints reach Super Bowl XLI, but the game is never played as Aaron Neville's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner takes 3 hours and 40 minutes to complete. Viewers hammer CBS with calls, but not because the game is never played, but because they don't get another chance to hear John Cougar's "This Is Our Country" 20 times.

I DO Believe it - In perhaps the oddest event of the year, Localshill's wedding is interuped when, during the ceremony, Tom Abatemarco and Bob Wenzel begin shouting obcenities at local shill from the front row of the church.

Net loss - The entire world is thrown into disarray when the world wide web crashes for 2 weeks. Scientists figure out the problem stemmed from Sandman's 15,000-screen post in which he ranks every band that ever put out an album. After futher digging, it's revealed the size of the post is not the problem, but the fact that he ranked 4-Non Blondes over the Beatles caused the computers all over the world to crash.

Letterman - Squawking VFR founder Pete gets into hot water in his new gig, when he writes a scathing letter to the editor of his own paper ripping his own handiwork.

Gardenstate - The celebrity wedding of the year takes place in December when Jerseygirl and Brett Favre tie the knot. It's a storybook romance until the tabloids reveal the two met while in rehab for painkillers. It's clear from day 1 who wears the pants in the family, as Favre quickly comes out of retirment and somehow lands as the starting QB at Ohio State. Sorry about the photo, JG, but I saw it on google and couldn't resist.

ROMO SAYS WHAT?

Life is a funny thing, especially when it comes to sports. You judge people by the teams they play on, not their personality. For example, I hate Scott Gomez and Patrik Elias, but have never met the cats. I love Pedro Martinez and Isaac Bruce and have never met them. For all I know, Elias and Gomez are great guys and Petey and the Reverend are total a-holes.

What got me thinking about this? Actually, it was Mrs. Pendleton. As I howled with joy Saturday night watching Tony Romo blow Dallas' loss to Seattle, the Mrs. said to me, "If he were on another team, would you hate him?" I said, "you know what, I have no clue. I'm sure he's a good guy, but he's on the Cowboys, and due to a mass media ready to annoint him the second coming of Roger Staubach after a few wins in November, I'm sick of the cat." One final note on that Romo botched FG. Not once did Al Michaels and John Madden mention that the cat came up about 6-inches short of a first down on that play. All they talked about was him not reaching the end zone, but remember, it was a fourth-and-half-a-yard.

But it is funny how we judge athletes - most of them anyway - by the teams they play on. I mean, I actually rooted for Larry Phillips to do well when he was on the Rams, despite the fact he made smashing his dame's noggin into a wall a daily occurence. Anyway, good for Parcells and T.O. Adios a-holes.

Let me use that to seque into the Randy Johnson saga this week. I can't see even the most die-hard Yankee fan ever rooting for that a-hole. There's nothing I hate more that miserable millionaire who has a job any straight dude would kill to have. Remember, this is a dude who, while making $16 million a year, refused to pay for bastard daughter to go to a community college. Well, unfortunately for us Yankee haters, they did the right thing and sent the a-hole back to Arizone. Fortunately for us Yankee haters, Roger Clemens will be back in the Bronx before July 4th, so we have another dick to root against.

In other stuff, word has is that Jim Tressel has a clause in his contract - which he signed after Ohio State's ref-aided national title a few years back - that if he wins another national title, his contract is null and void, making him a free agent. Word has it there's a certain shitty NFL team in Northern Ohio that may back up the Brinks truck for that cat.

Finally, tomorrow is the last day you can wish someone Happy New Year. The new deadline is Jan. 8. Once it's a week old, the New Year is no longer new.

As for New Year's Eve. How about that fucking Dick Clark? While I feel bad for the dude, you know - as my brother in Calif. pointed out - that if Dick were the producer of the show and some other oldtimer - let's say Bill Shatner - were the longtime host and was incapacitated by a stroke, old Dick would have a replacement on the set faster than you can say Depends. Also, you know none of Clark's hanger-oners don't have the balls to tell that cat he's embarrassing himself for fear of being canned on the spot. What someone should've done about 10 years ago, is video Clark counting down to every year up until 2050. This way, Clark would never have to embarrass himself, and America wouldn't be subjected to Ryan Seacrest.

Finally: Beer count: 0.

CRAPPY NEW YEAR

Well, it's 2007, big deal.

Actually, for fans of this blog, this is a big deal since it seems like 2005 since my last blog. Well, take heart fans, one of my resolutions is to blog more often.

So here goes with my resolutions for this year:

1. Lose weight. I did it last year - that was until November, when I put some of it back on. Anyway, a gym membership is actually in my future.

2. No beer til St. Paddy's Day. I had enough tastes over the last 10 days of December to last me a lifetime, but all I need them to do is last 77 days. My "weekend alcoholic" schtick is getting tired, so I'll give it a rest for a while. The good news is, once 3/17 rolls around, I will start a new beer count that I promise I will keep track of all year long. Also, after 3/17, I will try to limit my drinking to special occassions, like weddings, parties, Fridays and Saturdays and Met games on TV.

3. Learn to play the guitar. Remember that guitar I got on my 40th birthday. Well, it's been used less than Nicole Richie's digestive system the last nine months. I may even take lessons. The goal is to be able to bang out actual tunes by the summer. It's a longshot, but you never know.

4. See more friends. Times out of my hut are few and far between, but I'm gonna make a point to see other people outside of weddings and parties. Another longshot, but you never know.

5. Don't let my sports teams drive me nuts. This one is tough, but since I've accepted the Rams blow and I honestly can't get worked up over the Mets until October rolls around, the Rangers are my only problem. If they can somehow get past the first round of the playoffs, this one could be shot. But again, a longshot.

6. Do more stuff with my kids. I have going to the movies and watching Spongebob mastered. It's time to take it up a notch with the young Pendletons - ice skating, hunting, bowling are all things that should and could be done.

7. Dress better. I have to be honest, the jeans and sweatshirt thing is getting tired, even for me. It's a good way to hide the fat, but that's about it. I actually wore a nice shirt to work tonight and am pondering wearing Dockers pants tomorrow. Of all the 7 resolutions to this point, this one has the least chance of succeeding.

8. Write a movie script. I've have a few ideas in my head for flix for years - and they don't all include me starring in Busty Cops 4 - but I have to committ myself to doing it. When I win the Oscar in a few years, I may bring up this post.

9. Explore beer options. OK, I have to say, of the 700 or so beers I had in 2006, approximately 87% were Miller Lites. Of all Lite beer, that is my favorite. Coors Light blows, Bud Light gives me gas, Amstel Light is too expensive and Corona Lite looks and tastes like piss. THat being said, I want to expand my beer horizons without A: Spending $28 for a case, B: feeling like I need a nap after one or two beers (I call it the Sam Adams syndrome) or C: Gaining tons of weight while getting loaded. If anyone has any suggestions let me know. PS: You have until March 18th for a suggestion, since St. Paddy's Day will be an all day Guiness Fest.

10. More blogging. My beer-induced haze over the holidays killed my desire to blog. I hope that will change in 2007. So far, I'm off to a good start.

Happy New Year to all FNC fans and keep reading.

PS: The most overrated bands blog is still coming as our my predictions for 2007.