ROCKY MOUNTAIN SCHTICK

I'm back. In more ways than one.

Not only is this my first post in almost two months, me and Mrs. Pendleton just got back from hijinx-filled weekend in Colorado. In Colorado, I ran into many fans of FNC and they urged me to get back to the blogging. Well, their support and the many wacky things I saw/did in the Rocky Mountain State has revived my love of the blog.

So here we go. Note: Beer count is totally shot. I have no idea at this minute. I will try to calculate, but it won't be anywhere close.

Now to the blogging, which tonight will be a few observations, notes, rants from Colorado.

First the highlights of the trip.

On Saturday afternoon, me and the Mrs. went to Columbine HS. I know it sounds morbid, but it's a place I really wanted to see. When ripped by one fan of FNC who couldn't understand why I would want to go there, I compared to people going to Pearl Harbor or Ground Zero. I know it sounds wacky, but I think it's a good comparison. It's the scene of one of our nation's darkest days, and also influential. It let parents all across the U.S. know they need to keep an eye on their kids, and if they sense something is wrong or troubling their kids get INVOLED.

Anyway, it was very strange as the HS is right next to a huge park that features several softball fields and football fields and soccer fields. As a matter of fact, when we got there, there were at least 4 softball games going on and a youth football tournament. What was wierd was I felt very somber about being at the HS, but everyone else didn't seem that way. Of course, these folks have lived there the last 7 years - I haven't. Anyway, the most intense part of the trip was standing on the sideline for a CHS JV football tilt. It was very hard core. After the game, my wife and I took a lap around the school. I couldn't help but think of all the poor kids and parents whose lives will never be the same.


OK, sorry about the somber stuff. Here's a brief breakdown of the rest of the trip.

Red Rocks is very cool. I would guess seeing a concert there would be very intense.

The wedding I went out there for was very cool as well. Good times with friends. The one let down was the DJ wrapping up the night with William Joel's Piano Man. The groom and I have discussed this. He told me he was thinking of me when the song was playing. I told him not to sweat it.

Plus, about 2 hours later a friend/comedian of ours got into a great toe-to-toe verbal battle with a 16-year-old carhop at Sonic. Perhaps one of the funniest things I've ever scene.

Boulder, Col is pretty cool. It's like hippie ville. I even did schtick with some cats trying to legalize pot. I was with them until I read their literature, which took aim at alcohol use, basically questioning why is alcohol legal but not pot? Offended by this, I went to the nearest tavern and got completely smashed, the night ending with me and many friends filling a juke box with dollars to play a string of John Denver/Neil Diamond tunes.

The highlight of the trip, however, was a trip to Rocky Mtn. National Park. I'm no nature guy, but this was awesome. The highlight was getting caught in small snowstorm at a place called Bear Lake. Of course, since it was 60 degrees in boulder when we started the day, I had shorts on. I would've loved to spend the day there, but we spent the first half of the day on the CU campus. I think I saw that nutty professor who likes to rip 9/11 victims, but I'm not sure it was him. I tried to tell dames on campus I was a football recruit, but none of them offered me "favors" to become a Buffalo.

Trip ended Monday with dinner in Denver. This is where i really got worked up. WHile my wife and I were sitting at a bar, I heard some business cat sitting next to us describing his house to a coworker. When he used the term "master bedroom" to describe his sleeping quarters I almost lost it.

Ok, listen, I know everyone uses that term, but why? All he had to say was "my bedroom," to the dude. It's his house, everyone fucking knows he'll get the biggest bedroom, but, in the attempt to make himself more important, he has to say "master bedroom," as if it's a fucking oasis. In my hut, the "master bedroom", is about 5 feet bigger than my kids' room, therefore it's called "my bedroom." And then, of course, if you have your own shitter in your own bedroom, it's called the "master bathroom." Pleese. People take themselve so seriously. I felt like ripping into the dude, but figured it would be out of line. I understand why realtors use the term - they are trying to make the house seem more important than it is - but do co-workers talking to each other have to? Please.

Well, it's good to be back. More coming soon.